My Miscellany: What’s Your Language?


There is a very popular book that I am sure many of you are familiar with:  The 5 Love Languages.  It theorizes that we humans basically respond to any 1 of 5 (or several) major love languages.  Now, I’m all for simplifying love, but I’m a bit concerned that some might worry about their language, rather than their experience in love.

What I mean to say is, given that we can express our love in many different ways, on many different levels, how effective is this notion that we can pigeon-hole our experience with our significant other by labeling it 1 of 5 ways?

We all speak these languages at one time or another, and in combination as well.  Hell, I would venture to guess on Valentine’s Day many men hit all the 5 languages!  Alas, only to fall back into…?  My point is,  I’m not sure I am buying into labeling experiences in love that should be spontaneous and superfluous.  Labels, dear reader, can be dangerous!

5languagesBut, it certainly makes for an entertaining post!  And, I can see some merit in the fact that you might appreciate or two Languages over some others.  So, for a refresher-and for those who might not be familiar-her are the 5 Love Languages according to Mr. Chapman.  Do one or two of these languages speak more loudly to you than others?  I’d venture to guess which ones.

Interestingly, there are some that one might fixate on too much.  That is to say, do we all know someone who expresses their love by the amount of gifts they like to give, yet are never present for time together?  Or how about the person who has to constantly be told they look good?  Oh yes, I am sure we do.  If anything, this exercise in compartmentalizing love, one can learn where one is deficient in the overall language of love.  Or not.  I’m just having a little fun tonight…

1) = Words of Affirmation (see:  constantly having to stroke your ego, or speak Fido!)

language3You feel extremely loved when your partner compliments you on the way you look or on the things you have done. You love their encouragement and verbal support and save their cards and love notes as some of your most precious items. You are always filled with such love when you receive a card they’ve written that expresses their heartfelt love for you in their own litle way, little poems they might write, or if they ring you spontaneously during the day to say they love you.

2) = Acts of Service (see:  no matter how much I do it’s never enough, or stop being lazy)

actsofserviceYou feel so loved when your partner does little things to help you. You always notice when they are thoughtful and put themself out to assist you, even if you could do those things yourself. There is such a sense of love and thankfulness you feel when they do this.

3) = Physical Touch (see:  stop being saran wrap, or keep the flames burning)

physicaltouchYou feel especially loved when your partner touches you in loving ways. Whether it’s a spontaneous kiss, playful cuddle, or gentle, loving touch on the arm, you feel that touch convey the love your partner feels. You don’t understand why people would prefer to sit far apart on different chairs or couches, when they could be touching or in each other’s arms. When walking together, you really enjoy your partner reaching out to hold your hand, and you’d never say no to them giving you a massage.

4) = Quality Time (see:  omg can’t I just play golf on sundays?  or, it’s not all about you)

language6There’s nothing that makes your feel more loved than spending quality one-on-one time with the person you love. Great conversation and eye contact, flowing conversation, laughter and just being together. While fancy gifts and kindly spoken words are nice, you’d trade them any day for uninterrupted “together” time. You love it when your partner’s mobile phone is turned off or they sacrifice other important activities to spend time with you. Whether it’s fancy restaurant or just cuddling up on the couch to watch a movie and laugh about it together, you’re happiest when you can share experiences together.

5) = Gift Giving (see:  gold diggers, or stop being a stingy s.o.b.)

giftsThere’s nothing better than receiving a thoughtful gift to make you feel loved in a relationship. Whether it’s a single flower or something much more expenisive, you love being fussed over, spoilt and thought of. The fact that your partner thought to give you something then organised it is very meaningful to you.

Let’s all try to incorporate ALL the 5 Languages ALL the time!  See if you can concentrate on which ones your partner seems to respond to the most.  So tell me, which language gets you all warm and fuzzy?


  • I love reading about the languages of love. My particular language is “physical touch.” For me, there is nothing more romantic than a simple touch of affirmation of love. It could be as simple as holding hands in the car while driving, a kiss on the forehead (most romantic kiss ever,) or cuddling up in bed. Physical touch honestly is key in any relationship. It keeps it fresh and exciting. There are so many different ways to say “I love you,” “I appreciate you,” “I care for you,” all with a simple touch. Thank you for this post.

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