My Miscellany: The Ex: The Final Words


Well, I thought I was finished with talking about the ex.  Apparently not.  But these WILL BE the final words she gets.

A poet friend emailed me today saying that my ex has been contacting her and telling her all kinds of wonderful things about me and our past.

REWIND:  My ex found out from a friend that I was running a gofundme campaign and that I had a blog.  The ex–with the help of some of her friends, carpet bombed me on the gofundme page and also on my blog until I figured out how to stop their being published.

That not being good enough, apparently the ex has decided she will blog about whatever she has decided to blog about, and to contact my followers.  I am very proud of the fact that I have stuck to my decision NOT to ever read a single word she types.  That part of my life is dead and buried.  Gone baby, gone.  I made it out.

So, if you are contacted by the Ex, I am sorry in advance.  Also, I don’t need to defend who I am and what I am about.  I know how I lead my life, and who I am.  According to my poet friend the ex feels it her duty to warn all the women out here about me.  I could care less.  I addressed it once, and now it’s twice and DONE.

Just to be clear:

  • I am terribly sorry if you are harassed, you are grown enough to draw your own conclusions.  Apparently the ex is determined to tell “her” side of the story.
  • I do not blog to meet women.  If I want to meet women, I will do it locally, or on any number of dating sites for gosh sake!
  • I blog because I love to write and it is part of my recovery.  I have devoted a lot of my blog to “Passing It On,” a concept in AA that once you receive the gifts of recovery you “Pass It On”.  My life is an open book out here.
  • Please do not contact me about the ex.  I don’t need to know anything, I lived with her for 3 years, I know everything there is to know.

I have over 520 posts on my blog, and that’s just since Oct 20!  Of all those posts I posted two poems about the ex.  I have never said an unkind word, though I did illustrate pieces of my history there.  Here are my final words on this subject:

buh bye




  • I have been asked, in the past, to NOT write about my relationship……I denied, replied that I am a writer and writing is what i do 🙂 Heads up & let it all flow

  • I share with you in the suck-fest that it is to be defamed by a human being you loved… It hurts…despite the fact that you have moved on, and take the high road, it hurts… I’m sorry you had to deal with this. It’s a month on now, since you shared this post (I’m just seeing it as I explore your blog) and I hope that this wave has come and gone…

    • I’ve been told she’s been hating on me in her blog she created when she found out I was here. She still creeps me. I’ve never been, it’s so hard not to take a peek, but that’s a dead life, and I don’t care for dead things

  • Yikes! I am sorry to hear about the difficulties.

    Friendships also go through something similar if you have two friends in your circle and neither wishes to speak to the other (I’m currently dealing with that right now, in fact). Both of them want me to support their side and I’ve already told them that I categorically refuse to do so because they are grown adults and need to act like it. I am forced to take their problem into consideration because we have friends in common, and that is a pain. I also automatically assume both sides have contributed to the situation (the ratio is anyone’s guess), they are firmly convinced that their “truth” is correct, and the actual truth will never be known. I’ve also noticed people tend to maintain a course of action once they’ve committed to it, even when presented with information that proves it is foolhardy to continue (it may be due to simply pride).

    Fortunately, I have only once experienced the “woman/man scorned” result from a failed relationship, and I can see why it would be irritating as hell. It is a pain in the ass because it’s impossible to defend yourself without getting sucked into the morass created by the ex, and you run into the dangerous (and unproductive) “he said, she said” argument.

    I was oblivious when it happened to me (My depression was very bad at the time), but I ignored it once I was aware of the situation. Yes, people encouraged me to offer rebuttals, but what good would it do? I remained silent because I didn’t want to contribute to the ad nauseam debate, and it eventually wasted away and died as a result.

    Nonetheless, I hope the issue is resolved as amicably as it can possibly be and everyone can be free to continue their lives unfettered. 🙂


  • I’m really sorry about this Rob. If you need to talk, just let me know. I hope it’s not triggering you, but I know how strong you are, and from your blog alone, you don’t deserve it. I deleted my old blog, I didn’t like how I was writing. Not that I want to change my writing, just my perspective. I wanted to give myself a clean slate. I really like your approach, how you don’t give much time to the WHY or the WHO… that’s been my problem, allowing so many WHYs and WHOs to consume my mind. In a sense, I guess, I wanted to run down the steps real quick, get myself right with a few things. Your blog helps me so much. Thank you.

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