Tag: ruminations

Haven of Veneration

I Coronate YouYour throne awaits your ascension oh my Queen!
Aye, retreat to this immutable secretive place
rise, yes come forth from your lethal darkness
from shadows and bask in eternal rooted glory!

Ruler of my emotions I beseech you to ardently
stride swift into the light inhale the thunder
of those fierce Four Winds drink full the rain
extinguish the scorched fires of dreadful hell
collapse the heavens swallow whole swift tides
lay waste to delusive unsound beliefs so rise!

Enter this kingdom of adoration created beyond
the resilience of immense worlds abundant with
sustenance, sated with such pure supplications
construct from absolute permanence of creation
from the fiery core of flaming desires domains
enter! Revel devoutly in within depths of this
absolute unassailable fortress, this cathedral
of fixed fidelity, my revered temple built for
the great majesty of your magnificence awaits!

Monarch of these my affections Sovereign of my
senses Eminence of my so determinate dominions
take this gift take this my crown of devotions
upon your golden brow and place it in totality
upon the exquisite position of your conscience
that you can forever feel its fervent purpose!

Rise!  Command the armies of your substance to
seek this place to persevere to encamp to slay
incertitude's woe so to rest peacefully within
my awesome resolve, fix your cold fearful gaze
your sweet temperament your disposition within
this allegiance onto my purpose so your sullen
sapphires can shine and burn brightly from the
white lightning of my yet permanent reverence!

Decree to your wandering souls to ravage their
fears to convene so as to forever entomb bleak
unease so forever to slay doubts vigilant fury
decree "Come home, come home for verily he has
surely created a constancy, such is his palace
his citadel that ever hereafter I will rejoice
in this haven of ardent veneration. That I may
take my rightful place in this intimacy of his
utterly indelible exquisitely fashioned love."

My Sunny Side Up: You’re Doing Great!

sunnysideupIn the thesaurus the antonym of criticism is compliment:

Compliment:

noun
1. an expression of praise, commendation, or admiration:
A sincere compliment boosts one’s morale.
2.
a formal act or expression of civility, respect, or regard
3.
compliments, a courteous greeting; good wishes; regards:

As you can see, paying a compliment does wonders for the recipient. Not to mention it does wonders for the giver. And that is my point today: why don’t we all give more compliments, or more importantly, encouragement?compliment1

Lately, I have noticed compliments becoming a part of my normal day. And something amazing has been happening: I feel happier and the people around me feel happier.

Imagine my surprise yesterday when the Director of the program pulled me in his office. He then spent 10 minutes complimenting me! He said everyone here was amazed at how well I was doing.

That they recognized all the hard work I have been doing in recovery. Of course, I left the office feeling damn good! He made me feel that I was important. We all need recognition, and his recognition gave me more momentum to keep doing what I am doing.

Similarly, I have noticed that I have been offering up compliments without any thought at all! This is completely different than my old “inward thinking” that I used to do. I used to be focused on three people: me, myself, and I. Giving out a genuine compliment makes other people feel good. I feel good just seeing their face light up. Dare I say, lately I have been, well, happy!compliment3

People have been responding to me in a different way! I’m not suggesting all of a sudden you have to start spitting out compliments like your a machine gun kiss ass. ’m suggesting to incorporate maybe one or two a day. I smile a lot more. A lot more. This is completely off the charts for me. I was never one to overly criticize people, but I certainly wasn’t tossing around compliments either.

It’s easy to criticize, but it’s much more difficult to step out of our selves and offer up “an expression of praise.” So, dear readers, I challenge you: can you find the time today, and everyday, to tell someone you love how much you appreciate them? Not “I love you,” but a genuine compliment? Can you give the guy or gal who serves your coffee a genuine compliment? Can you take two minutes and pat an employee on the back?

I promise you this: start giving “a formal act or expression of civility, respect, or regard,” daily for 30 days, and see if your life isn’t transformed. Who would like to take a 30 day challenge for March, and see if you can compliment someone the entire month? I’m going to start today! Less disdain and criticism, more compliments and love!

compliment2

My Sunny Side: Thank You So Much!

sunnysideupThank you everyone who has shown me such incredible love and support over the last 5 months!

Today I celebrate over 1,010 of you!  It boggles my mind that so many of you have chosen to follow my blog.

As you know I have just entered my 9th month of sobriety.  I am not kidding when I say YOU have lots to do with that!  Your kindnesses, your occasional emails, your comments on my posts, all have contributed to my recovery and wellness.  I am eternally blessed to have your time, affection, and attention.

You give me courage to post some of my more difficult material.  You give me strength to consider even posting more difficult material.  You support me in my endeavors, and I only hope I can give back to you in like kind.

1000followers on justrumianting men's blogI am always here for you, no matter what you are going through.  You are welcome to email me any time at keatsj1964@gmail.com.  I write to release my life into the world.  But if there wasn’t a world filled with you’s, it would be kind of pointless.  So:

THANKYOU-THANKYOU-THANKYOU-THANKYOU-THANKYOU-THANKYOU-THANKYOU!

My Miscellany: Oh No! Friday The 13th!

wp-1485298089762.jpgToday is Friday the 13th!  For those of you who are superstitious, not a good day.  However, it’s a great day for me!

Today I am going to the Probation Department, usually NOT a good thing.  However, today it’s a GREAT thing.  Last week I met with my Probation Officer.

She was so thrilled with my progress she decided that today would be the day we go before a judge and remove almost ALL of my probation stipulations!  All I will have to do is call in once a week.  You have no idea what the lifting of these restrictions means; so, I’m going to tell you.

That means that I will not have to pay over $2,800 in fees.  I will not have to attend two different punitive classes, which would have amounted to approximately 52 of them (and pay $75 each for).  Justice indeed!  I feel exonerated without even completing my appeal of my wrongful conviction.  She never believed I was guilty from the get go.  She knew what time of day it was with that entire situation.  I am glad someone believed in me.

relationship1The biggest thing is she is willing to relocate my probation to any state in the U.S.!  I am now deciding which state I want to move to.  I am definitely thinking California!  Sunny and warm, here I come.  By the end of March I will be out of this godforsaken state!

A great day for me indeed.  Doing good things results in good things.  And, because some of those penalties were resultant of a totally bogus charge, I feel a strong sense of redemption for these blessings today.

So, Friday the 13th be damned!  It’s a lucky day for me.

My Miscellany: Thank You! 400 Followers!

wp-1485298089762.jpgI want to thank each and every one of you for being with me on my journey.  You are a huge reason why I remain sober today!  This community has shown me tremendous love and support, and I hope I have been able to provide you the same.

That you support me is not my true healing.  I am full of gratitude for you.  It is your words and courage and bravery in your posts that sustain me!  Never edit your feelings and emotions on your blog–someone is going to benefit from what you have to say, from your experiences!  Like me!

400 followers on justruminating men's blogYou all have taught me a lot in the few short months I have been here.  I can’t tell you how many times I have read your words and simply shook my head, amazed at your experiences.  I have changed for the better because of many or your posts.

Thank you once again!  I will always remember reaching 400 followers on my 8 month sobriety date!  You truly are my home away from home.