Tag Archives: Positivity

My Sunny Side: Golden Words

sunny_side_up_on_recoverywise
Most people might look at my life and think “Wow, he must be miserable.”  On the contrary, my life couldn’t be better!

Just a quick recap for folks who may be joining the regularly scheduled broadcast already in progress:

I’ve been an alcoholic for over 35 years.  In May of 2016 I got sober; by going to jail.  I resided a VA inpatient treatment facility for just over 1 year.

I had the option of going anywhere in the country!  That’s because my Probation Officer knew I was doing the right things.  She had removed ALL obstacles to my being able to go anywhere I wanted to continue with my new life.

acceptance on justruminating men's blog

Although I was destitute, homeless, and without many friends or family, I was more rich than I have been in years!  I no longer drink and live in chaos.

I no longer spend all my paycheck on boozing–and sometimes illicit drugs.  I no longer have to worry if my co-workers and customers can smell booze on my breath.

I am no longer in a terribly abusive relationship.  I am no longer filled with anxiety and dread.  I am no longer hungover everyday, anxious to begin drinking again later on.  I am no longer sad, worried, angry, frustrated.  I am no longer in the grips of the legal system.

No, today I can actually use the words “I’m happy!”  Wow!  I can’t remember when I have used those two words to describe my state!  Would I like to be out on my own doing my own thing?  Of course I would.

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However, today I have ACCEPTANCE in my life.  I am learning to accept the things I cannot change.  I am learning to accept life on life’s terms.

As a result, I am much more peaceful and contented than I have been in many, many years.  Although there are many approaches to sobriety, for me there are two GOLDEN WORDS that have made all the difference as I transition through this recovery:  ACCEPTANCE and GRATITUDE.

I can’t really describe what these two simple words have meant to me in this journey.  They have made all the difference in the world.

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Recovery Online: Redefining Recovery

They say recovery is a gradual process; change doesn’t happen overnight. In his moving talk, Tom shares the tumultuous journey of a recovering addict and how small steps to reach out made a big impact in his perspective of the world.

Ted Talks

My Sunny Side: Compliments

sunny_side_up_on_recoverywise

In the thesaurus the antonym of criticism is compliment:

Compliment:

noun
1. an expression of praise, commendation, or admiration:
A sincere compliment boosts one’s morale.
2.
a formal act or expression of civility, respect, or regard
3.
compliments, a courteous greeting; good wishes; regards:

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As you can see, paying a compliment does wonders for the recipient. Not to mention it does wonders for the giver. And that is my point today: why don’t we all give more compliments, or more importantly, encouragement?

Lately, I have noticed compliments becoming a part of my normal day. And something amazing has been happening: I feel happier and the people around me feel happier.

Imagine my surprise yesterday when the Director of the program pulled me in his office. He then spent 10 minutes complimenting me! He said everyone here was amazed at how well I was doing.

That they recognized all the hard work I have been doing in recovery. Of course, I left the office feeling damn good! He made me feel that I was important. We all need recognition, and his recognition gave me more momentum to keep doing what I am doing.

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Similarly, I have noticed that I have been offering up compliments without any thought at all! This is completely different than my old “inward thinking” that I used to do. I used to be focused on three people: me, myself, and I. Giving out a genuine compliment makes other people feel good. I feel good just seeing their face light up. Dare I say, lately I have been, well, happy!

People have been responding to me in a different way! I’m not suggesting all of a sudden you have to start spitting out compliments like you’re a machine gun kiss ass. ’m suggesting to incorporate maybe one or two a day. I smile a lot more. A lot more. This is completely off the charts for me. I was never one to overly criticize people, but I certainly wasn’t tossing around compliments either.

It’s easy to criticize, but it’s much more difficult to step out of our selves and offer up “an expression of praise.” So, dear readers, I challenge you: can you find the time today, and everyday, to tell someone you love how much you appreciate them? Not “I love you,” but a genuine compliment? Can you give the guy or gal who serves your coffee a genuine compliment? Can you take two minutes and pat an employee on the back?

I promise you this: start giving “a formal act or expression of civility, respect, or regard,” daily for 30 days, and see if your life isn’t transformed. Who would like to take a 30 day challenge for March, and see if you can compliment someone the entire month? I’m going to start today! Less disdain and criticism, more compliments and love!

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Recovery Online: 11 Years Sober

Steve O On Being Sober. 10 Minutes

Recovery Online: Change Your Thinking

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