Tag: my_musings

My Miscellany: Were I To Date

wp-1485298089762.jpgWhat would happen if I really wanted to be honest in a search for a significant other, at this tumultuous time of my life?  I think it would be funny.  Here’s what I would put, no holds barred–just for fun.  Imagine if I really posted something like this?  I would love to be a fly on the wall of women reading this online, haha.

“52 year old (well, 53 in 11 days) recovering AQUARIAN (that’s important, right?) alcoholic, who loves Italian Food, seeks mildly insane (female) writer, adventurer, anarchist, sex goddess, Rob worshipper for whirlwind romance.”

Me:

  • In treatment program for alcohol until end of March–I can go anywhere in the country then!  (I do get nightly and weekend passes, so we can still date!)
  • Poverty Stricken–hell, I only need to pay for butts right now, we can spend the rest of the time reinventing life by not spending a damn cent, right?
  • Currently Homeless–does it matter if you have a place to live?
  • On Probation–but no ankle bracelet!
  • Great kisser, great lover, extremely affectionate most of the time–A+ for me
  • 6’0″ 225lbs–mostly in shape, but could use to lose about 20lbs
  • Suffering from Bipolar Disorder 1 (mild)–you’ll never get bored with me, ever.
  • Mild form of Borderline Personality Disorder–not so much anymore, but I definitely will piss you off sometimes.  Doesn’t mean I don’t love you though!

Personality:

  • Sometimes a bit too judgmental–of other people mostly, you too if you’re a bitch.
  • Great sense of humor–my sarcasm will entertain you, but it might aggravate you after awhile.
  • I can be impatient–working on being a lot more patient, but I’m mostly patient, I think mostly, yeah.
  • Very clean–I pick up after myself, though I don’t have much to pick up anymore.
  • Very good with computers and social media–your work is free.
  • Sometimes get irritable and short tempered–you don’t need perfection do you?  Because I failed at perfection years ago, just ask my ex’s.
  • Very communicative–let’s talk and keep everything in the clear, PLEASE!!
  • I can be arrogant and pointed–part of my Bipolar gifts.  Sometimes I need to learn to pause my thoughts for 10 seconds and I’ll be fine, but sometimes I just say things and they come out wrong, not terrible things, just mild observations and stuff.
  • I am intelligent–I have a College Degree in English Education.
  • Sensuous–I am very romantic, loving, giving, adventuresome in bed.  Yes, this aspect of me and my personality are well above par, just ask my exe’s!

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Likes:

  • Nature–I love swimming, hiking, walking, boating, fishing, camping, outdoors!
  • Literature–I love poetry, I read poetry, I write poetry.  And I love reading, blogging.
  • Physical Fitness–just getting back into weight training and running.  I am very good at designing workout and nutrition plans, I used to be very, very fat.
  • Shopping–only TJ Maxx or Marshalls.  When I get a job again I plan on going there.
  • Cooking–I am a very good cook and cook most anything.  But I mostly love to grill.

Dislikes:

  • Traffic–well, since I don’t have a license, this shouldn’t be a problem.
  • Television–I used to watch television, but I am going to abstain now.
  • Slobs–I hate dirty and disorganized behaviors in people.
  • Winter–I won’t be living anywhere it is going to be too cold.
  • Insecure, petty, ignorant, needy, shallow, spiteful, overly sensitive, resentful, paranoid, boring people.

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YOU:

  • Must be comfortable in your own skin–for the most part, some madness is ok
  • Must be sexually expressive–if you are repressed in any way, pass.  (nothing crazy here, not to worry!)
  • Must be in decent shape–sorry, not into BB women.  I’m not Adonis, I don’t need you to be Venus, but you should be taking good care of yourself.  Take pride in being sexy and looking hot for yourself, which means you’re hot for me.
  • Understanding–sometimes I can be an asshole, (and you can be a bitch, it’s ok, just not 24/7.  If you love me you’ll understand.)
  • Patient–loving a guy with all this baggage takes patience.
  • Forgiving–if I mess up, lets’ talk about it and then you must truly forgive (no major violations, I understand)
  • A writer–yup, no more dummies for me.  If you don’t write, don’t bother.
  • Must LOVE NATURE!!  No more women who can’t swim, are afraid of bugs, can’t hike, etc.  I’m old enough to not settle anymore.
  • Whore in bed, Lady in the street, Doc Holliday by my side–pretty self explanatory.

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Summary:

So, as you can see I haven’t a pot to piss in or a pot at this particular time.  However, I am dynamic, loving, caring and giving.  I don’t have a problem admitting when I am wrong.  I am a great communicator.

I am a good listener.  I am up for most anything.  If the fact that I don’t have any of the usual “trappings” in life doesn’t bother you well, then I know you certainly aren’t judgmental!  I am not clingy, needy, possessive, insecure, jealous, and I won’t suffocate you so please don’t suffocate me!

We can be together, but you can also have your own life.  As a matter of fact, I encourage it, because sometimes I just want to be with myself.  I spent 16 years between 3 different women having to be the entertainment center.  You can get those at Best Buy now, I’m out of that business.

Of course, I am not in any position to be seeking a significant other right now.  I just thought it would be interesting to lay out the pure facts of where I am at.  I probably won’t be able to be with someone for a little while.  Most of the time I am ok with that.  But, on days like today, it sure would be nice to cozy up to a love and just coexist.

My Miscellany: Oh No! Friday The 13th!

wp-1485298089762.jpgToday is Friday the 13th!  For those of you who are superstitious, not a good day.  However, it’s a great day for me!

Today I am going to the Probation Department, usually NOT a good thing.  However, today it’s a GREAT thing.  Last week I met with my Probation Officer.

She was so thrilled with my progress she decided that today would be the day we go before a judge and remove almost ALL of my probation stipulations!  All I will have to do is call in once a week.  You have no idea what the lifting of these restrictions means; so, I’m going to tell you.

That means that I will not have to pay over $2,800 in fees.  I will not have to attend two different punitive classes, which would have amounted to approximately 52 of them (and pay $75 each for).  Justice indeed!  I feel exonerated without even completing my appeal of my wrongful conviction.  She never believed I was guilty from the get go.  She knew what time of day it was with that entire situation.  I am glad someone believed in me.

relationship1The biggest thing is she is willing to relocate my probation to any state in the U.S.!  I am now deciding which state I want to move to.  I am definitely thinking California!  Sunny and warm, here I come.  By the end of March I will be out of this godforsaken state!

A great day for me indeed.  Doing good things results in good things.  And, because some of those penalties were resultant of a totally bogus charge, I feel a strong sense of redemption for these blessings today.

So, Friday the 13th be damned!  It’s a lucky day for me.

My Miscellany: Thank You! 400 Followers!

wp-1485298089762.jpgI want to thank each and every one of you for being with me on my journey.  You are a huge reason why I remain sober today!  This community has shown me tremendous love and support, and I hope I have been able to provide you the same.

That you support me is not my true healing.  I am full of gratitude for you.  It is your words and courage and bravery in your posts that sustain me!  Never edit your feelings and emotions on your blog–someone is going to benefit from what you have to say, from your experiences!  Like me!

400 followers on justruminating men's blogYou all have taught me a lot in the few short months I have been here.  I can’t tell you how many times I have read your words and simply shook my head, amazed at your experiences.  I have changed for the better because of many or your posts.

Thank you once again!  I will always remember reaching 400 followers on my 8 month sobriety date!  You truly are my home away from home.

My Miscellany: To Follow Or Not To Follow?

wp-1485298089762.jpgAccording to WordPress I have 360 “followers.”  Truly?  I wish!  I average about 15-25 “likes” per post.  Where the heck are the other 340?  Lol.  But, not my actual point.  This got me thinking about who I follow, and why.

What I have learned is that I have been ignoring some folks that have been showing me consistent and solid support, and I have been “following” and investing serious time and effort in some folks for quite some time that have shown me scant support.lovemybloggers on justruminating men's blog

Well, today I cleared house and started following you folks I have missed.  I guess that’s just the ebb and flow of blogging.  Because I don’t believe in “following” everyone, I have been devoted to pretty much the same 30 or so poets since I joined here in mid-October.

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That number has pretty much allowed me–very nearly most of the time–to post quality comments on posts.  For me, following any more would not allow me to give consistent, quality feedback.

What I am concerned about is making sure that the folks I am supporting are the folks who are regularly and consistently supporting me.  That’s reciprocity!  Makes sense right?  Or at least I hope it does!

Before I decided to launch some folks, I got very anal about this and counted each person who has “liked” each of my last 25 poems.  I discovered the same core group of bloggers, so that’s who I am following today.

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So, thank you very much to you who have shown me such love and support.  And thank you for those of you who occasionally stop in and “like” or comment, I am most grateful.  I understand everyone can’t visit everyday and then I’d have to follow 360 followers, lol.  I just can’t follow everyone and be fair to your work.

At least you all know now why I am or am not following you.  And, to the new folks I am now following, I promise to show you the same love and support you have shown me.  Sorry I’m a bit late to the party.

My Miscellany: Blog Facelift!

wp-1485298089762.jpgHi folks, justruminating.blog underwent a makeover!   If you read my posts via the Reader, then you are missing out!

I would love for you to stop by and let me know what you think.  Also, I have added a new Music Player to the right column.  Now you can enjoy 10 new Meditations in under 15 minutes!

newblogdesign on justruminating men's blog

If you have any ideas for another kind of Music Player, please let me know.  I value your input.

As always, thank you so much for your kind support.