Tag: just_another_rumination

Just Another Rumination: Change The Tape!

iloveyou on justruminating men's blogThought I’d create a new section of posts for my blog:  Just Another Rumination.  Simple thoughts and questions that sometimes enter and exit my overactive imagination.

As I go through this morning I found myself starting to become negative about all the groups I have to attend here at the treatment facility.

And then I got real with myself.  I had to remind myself why I am here.  I had to have a little pep talk with myself about my recovery and its aims.

As a recovering alcoholic I am learning I must always be vigilant to what my tapes are playing in my head.  I am learning to recognize negative thinking patterns.  I never really paid much attention to my thoughts.thoughtsthings on justruminating men's blog

Now, however, I am in tune with my thoughts and how much they affect my emotions and behaviors throughout the day.  Some call this “mindfulness.”

When I am mindful that my thoughts may be negative, judgmental, or just plain ineffective, I am able to simply “change the tape.”  That is to say, reorient my thinking to go down positive pathways.

Becoming in tune with how you think from moment to moment can help you to begin to change some of the negative consequences in your life.  This happens when you say to yourself “This way of thinking is not healthy for me.”  Then you simply change the tape!

thoughtscharacter on justruminating men's blogYou will be amazed at how much quieter your world becomes.  How much more at peace your life becomes!  So today, rather than bitch and complain about all the groups I have to attend, while I might not embrace them and do cartwheels, I will remember they are essential to my recovery and well being!

Just Another Rumination: “I Love You”

iloveyou on justruminating men's blog

Thought I’d create a new section of posts for my blog:  Just Another Rumination.  Simple thoughts and questions that sometimes enter and exit my overactive imagination.

“I Love You”

Three of the most dangerous words in the English language.  They can topple whole empires (just ask, just for one example, Napolean,) or they can build universes.  There is nothing worse than a person who haphazardly tosses those three words around like they were confetti at a ticker tape parade.  Thinking that suddenly the heavens are going to open up before them.

I would caution anyone to use these three words so carefully; as if they were the core of a nuclear bomb.  Because, if not carefully contemplated and properly used, that is precisely the effect they can have on someone.  And, when used without much thought to the power behind them, they can wreak utter devastation when taken back.

So, before you use those three mighty words, ask yourself:

  • Why am I saying these words?  What is my purpose in this?
  • What impact will these words have on the recipient?
  • Am I willing to back these three words up with actions?  Willing to stick and stay?
  • Do I know what the fuck I am talking about?  Am I feeling this or mouthing this?lovelost on justruminating men's blog

Dear readers, if you do not have finite and pure answers to the questions above, don’t use the words!  Don’t put them into the universe merely to try to pull them back later because you did not have adequate fortitude to back them up.  Or because you think you thought you might…

Once they are in the universe they cannot be withdrawn.  If you do not know the power of these words then you have no business saying them.  If you are not prepared to back them up, then it is best you keep your mouth shut.  Let someone else–someone who knows what they mean and their true purpose–put them into the world with the full affect to which they were intended:

For mature adults who realize that they are not merely words.  Use improperly, they are the stuff than can loose planets from their orbit.  Used mindlessly, they are the stuff than can incinerate someone where they stand.  So, before you go telling someone “I Love You,” better be sure you mean business.  Otherwise, stay home and channel surf on Comedy Central.

loveyougoodbye on justruminating men's blog

Just Another Rumination: Today Is New Years

newyears on justruminating men's blogThought I’d create a new section of posts for my blog:  Just Another Rumination.  Simple thoughts and questions that sometimes enter and exit my overactive imagination.

Not trying to be negative, just keeping it real:  So here’s my take on New Year’s:  who cares?  It’s one of the dumbest holidays of the year.  This is when folks get all sentimental about their past year, and/or their year to come.  When they take stock of what they should’ve done, and what they didn’t do.

Yes, of course some do take stock of what they did do.  But I’m all about Carpe Diem:  seize the day.  And no, I don’t judge anyone for using this day to determine their new paths in life.

For me, it’s stupid.  Seems better to me to do this on a day like, say, you’re birthday!  That’s when you can take stock of yourself and what you’ve done with your years.

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If I have to listen to one more person talk about their “resolutions,” I might just sock them.  I mean, really?  The first of the New Year is when you’re going to make all these changes?  It’s the magic day that will transform you into finally losing weight, quitting some bad habit, taking up some new good habit?

What’s wrong with doing it right now?  Go to the gym TODAY.  How about making those changes in the middle of the summer?  How about quitting those butts in cold-ass February?  How about not setting yourself up for failure by using New Years as a day that will define your goals?

Happy New Year my ass.  If you want to make resolutions, do it in the here and now.  Live your life one day at a time.  Transform yourself daily.  Don’t write a bunch of crap down on a list and then have the water cooler discussion in March about not following through.

Oh, and have fun watching the stupid ball drop.  One of the dumbest wastes of human time I think I’ve ever heard of.  Don’t get me started on that.

Just another rumination.

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Just Another Rumination: Friendship

iloveyou on justruminating men's blog

Thought I’d create a new section of posts for my blog:  Just Another Rumination.  Simple thoughts and questions that sometimes enter and exit my overactive imagination.

So I’ve been at this particular facility for over two weeks.  I am friendly towards my roommate, but we don’t go to chow together.

I am friendly to other residents, but I have no deep conversations.

I am congenial to everyone, I am not isolating, yet no one takes the time to even say my name.

Why the hell do I continue to struggle to make friends?  What is it about my demeanor that prevents this from happening?

Everyone is so damn cliquey here.  I am once again baffled by my inability to fit in.  I’m exhausted in this concept.