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From jail, to the end of my treatment in 3 different V.A. Treatment Centers, this part of My Story uncovers the journey of my recovery. I vividly, and candidly chronicled my day to day struggles with recovery, mental health, amends, and dealing with the V.A. empire on my blog from October of 2016, to the end of 2017. You can find these musings in the Archives. However, in the coming weeks, I look back at those experiences and give you a more coherent story of my life In Recovery. I look back on that year with more insight as to what was happening, and share with you the principles and actions that built the foundation for my ongoing recovery.
|Before Recovery||Part 1: A Problem||Part 2: Jail Time||Part 3: Reality Check||Part 4: VA Program|
|Pt. 5: Jamaica Plain||Pt. 6: Brockton I||Part 6: Brockton II|
Welcome Back Legal System
Not only was I dealing with different kinds of medications to treat my PTSD and Bipolar Disorder, but when I went to check in with the Probation Department at the dreaded Brockton Courthouse, I was in for a little surprise. Seems that when I first got out of jail in mid-October, I was supposed to check-in with Probation. Well, I had not. There was a warrant for my arrest waiting for me!
I explained to two different officials that I was whisked away to a VA Treatment facility. One official was sympathetic, the other official wanted to throw me in jail until monday (it was the weekend).
Thank god that the official who wanted to allow me to simply clear it up on monday prevailed. If you have ever been to court and waited to see if you were going to jail or not, then you know how very stressful that waiting can be.
Legal Consequences of Alcoholism
After clearing up the misunderstanding with the court, I sat down with my probation officer, who outlined the consequences of my OUI and bogus Domestic Abuse convictions:
- Total Fines, Fees, Penalties: $2,835.08
- Loss of License: 1 year
- Probation Time: 2 years – including weekly check-ins with a probation officer
- Batterers Classes: 45 at $30 a pop
- Suspended Sentence Still Looming: 1.5 years
Thankfully, the requirement to do 45 sessions of Alcohol Abuse classes was discharged, because of all the treatment time I had under my belt.
However, and as you can see, the fallout from alcoholism can be dramatic. The worst of it was that I had to attend classes with convicted “batterers” for 45 sessions! And pay for that privilege! Absolutely ridiculous. More on that in later installments of In Recovery.
My Worldly Possessions
Before I went to jail, I had escaped from the violent drunk who I lived with. I had been hospitalized on a Sunday in early April for a supposed suicide attempt while I was drunk. It was a suicide attempt, it was me acting out so I could get into a program.
Well, on Tuesday morning I was driven by ambulance to the psychiatry department at the VA. They wanted to intern me there as an inpatient for evaluation for 60 days! I managed to explain to the head psychiatrist there the true nature of my situation at home. With assurances that I meet with my own psychiatrist on Thursday, I was released.
I immediately went to my friend at the car dealership and begged him to use a dealership vehicle so I could get my things out of the psychos house. After agreeing, I had only about 1.5 hours before she would get home from work.
I grabbed anything and everything I could get, and was allowed to store it in the attic of the old dealership. Anyway, while I was in the REACH program, I was told I had to get it all out of there pronto.
When I did go to get my stuff, it had been rifled through! All that was left was about three or four boxes of random belongings. It wasn’t like I had packed a lot of things up there; however, many of the things I had packed there were now gone. Still, I was glad to have more clothing and some of the belongings with me.
Time Spent Wisely
As I progressed through the program’s three different levels, I spent lots of timing productively. In the mornings I would meditate. I got to the point when I could meditate for 45 minutes to an hour. It help ground me for the day, and helped me to minimize triggers and what have you.
Blogging with vim and vigor; sometimes for hours at a time. Some of the counselors would approach me and ask me if they thought all the time on the computer was beneficial to my recovery. I simply would say “Would you rather I spend my evenings with everyone else, staring blankly at the t.v.?” Once they saw that the blog was primarily centered on recovery and wellness, they pretty much left me alone.
My recovery was greatly enhanced by bleeding my heart into my blog: was devoted to trying to use my blog as a means of helping others in recovery. And those still struggling with addiction. On retrospect, I can see where I did take it slightly to the extreme. I was not interested in making friends and small talk. I just wasn’t that kind of person.
And there were many, many walks upon the Brockton VA grounds. It’s a fascinating world of serene nature mixed in with old and new buildings of all different shapes and sizes. I walked quite a bit during my time there. Nature has always been my escape.
Finally, I got caught up with taking photographs (as you may know if you read Part 6: Brockton I), and editing them in various apps. When I wasn’t working my CWT position, or in various treatment sessions and classes, I would just take and manipulate pictures. These became the basis of my Instagram and Pinterest pages.
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Coming Soon: Recovery, CWT, Rebecca in:
|Part 6: Brockton III|