Tag Archives: change

Living Life Well: Make Your Bed

living_life_well_on_recoverywise

Gems for living a life of wellness. Lessons I have learned, or am learning, during this crazy journey through life.

Every action you take, every decision you make, everything you do causes an immediate effect on those around you–and on you.  And this is the important bit.  There is such a thing as instant karma.  It is your bed, and you are going to have to lie in it.  Therefore:  Choose How You Make Your Bed!

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Your actions will dictate whether in general your life is going to run happily or badly, smoothly or as if the wheels have fallen off.  If you are selfish and manipulative, it will rebound on you.  If you are generally loving and thoughtful, you will get your just rewards–and not in heaven (or the next life or whatever you believe) but right here, right now.

Trust me.  Whatever you do and how you do it will come back to you in spades.  This isn’t a threat for living.  It’s an observation.  It’s happened to me time and time again.  Those who do good, get good.  Those who do bad, get bad.

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I know we can all point to people who seem to have it made and are still pretty vile.  But, trust me, they don’t sleep well at night, if at all.  They have no one to really love them.

Inside they are sad and lonely and frightened.  Those who go around sharing a bit of love and kindness get rewarded with the same coming back.

So be careful how you make your bed.  What goes around, comes around.  There is instant karma.  What you sow you reap.  Better to stand up and be counted right from the start.  Do the right thing, every time.  You know what it is.  Then when you get in the bed you’ve made, not only will you be able to sleep at night, but you’ll sleep the sleep of the just.

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My Ruminations: 4o Things About Me

My Ruminations Robert Levasseur
Robert Levasseur

I was inspired by Rebecca to be brave and bold. After reading her disclosures I realized my previous list was inadequate. I had to get real after her bravery.  See her list HERE.  So, here’s a lot more stuff about me

1.  I love cereal. Healthy and unhealthy. I also LOVE smelling the inside of the Froot Loops box. How do they get that to smell so good?

2.  Noises above the norm make me nervous.

3.  I have 2 older half brothers and 1 younger half-sister. I speak to none of them.  I grew up until 12 with one of them. He hasn’t spoken to me since I was 12.

4.  I have used every drug but heroin and meth. Alcohol is my primary drug, which led to many usages primarily of cocaine and crack.

5. I love rain, especially downpours and thunderstorms. I’ve never made love during a thunderstorm. But I would like to.

6.  I loathe soggy bread.

7.  My Favorite movie is The Longest Day, a movie about the epic Invasion of Normandy.

8.  I’m 6’1″ 225lbs. I would like to lose that 25lbs.

9.  I can whistle through all combinations of my fingers. I can also whistle through an acorn cap.

10.  I am a very good swimmer. I like swimming in lakes and ponds more than the ocean, but I swim there too.

11.  My brother John got hit by a car on Christmas morning and died the following day. He was 8. I was there. I was 11.

12.  My retirement dream is to buy a small house on a lake and have a small boat. Preferably with the love of my life. I’m not Robmoji, I can last more than 9 months with a woman.

13.  I don’t like it when I’m excessively hot.

14.  My favorite season is Fall.

15.  I taught High School English for a year.

16.  I got kicked out of the Army for an OUI I got in Germany. The discharge is classified as General Under Honorable Conditions.

17.  I paid over $350,000 in child support.

18.  I have 2 sons, Nick 28 and Matt 26.  We haven’t seen each other in 15 years. But I’m working on that!

19.  I love Chinese leftovers.  One of the few leftovers I will eat.

20.  I don’t like the winter.

21.  I slept with a fan from age 22 to 52. Jail stopped that habit quickly. I no longer need a fan to sleep.

22.  A medium told me once that I had lived over 1,000 lives.  I disagreed with her.  I’ve lived many more.

23.  I met my wife on my blog.

24.  Two of my previous girlfriends from my early who’s got abortions. One of them I wrote about in A Cold White Door which turned out to be the moment of conception. I was there for one, not the other, because she didn’t tell me until after it was done–the girl in the poem.

25.  I am almost OCD clean and organized.

26.  I attained Expert marksmanship in the Army and with German weaponry.

27.  I graduated college with high honors. I spent 6 out of 8 semesters on probation for various behavioral issues related to alcohol.  I got almost failing grades from elementary school through high school.

28.  I like colored rocks. I have some colored rocks.

29.  Every time I see a clown I am repulsed.

30.  I love archangels and dragons.

31.  My middle name is Marc.  It ends I’m c instead of k because it’s French.

32.  I once had to hitchhike from Monte Carlo to my hotel almost an hour away because I missed the last train because drinking. All I had to give the guy was $1, you’d think he hit the lottery.

33.  One of my girlfriend’s was bulimic. One of my girlfriend’s pulled her hair out incessantly. My last girlfriend was a psychopathic alcoholic. She now spends her time creeping my blog and blogging about me.

34.  My Favorite series was Madmen, followed by The Sopranos.

35.  I have to shake the milk carton and then smell it before I will use it. I don’t care if the cow’s standing outside.

36.  I had 4 episodes with “suicide.” To me 3 were cried for help. The last one, while I loved with girl from #33, I swallowed over 100 pills of various medicines. I woke up the next day as if nothing happened.

37.  Prior to going to jail from May 2016-October 2016, I worked in the car business for 20 years. I managed, sold, and did finance. No, I won’t help you buy a car. But you should always by pre-owned, only use cargurus.com, and never buy anything in finance. You’re welcome.

38.  I love to collect vintage and antique books.

39.  I totaled 3 cars in less than 4 months. I totaled my Altima, Lexus ES350, and the nicest car I ever owned, my Lexus GS450. I’ve totaled 4 cars in my life and never got a scratch, never got an OUI charge from any of them. After I crashed my GS450, the police actually gave me a ride home.

40.  I believe we are cosmic beings temporarily occupying human form. I believe that once our bodies give out, we will rejoin our celestial bodies and exist in a fantastic dimension as a reward for suffering on Earth.

Peace all you lovely humans!

Living Life Well: Letting Go

Acceptance Is Letting Go
living_life_well_on_recoverywise

The old saying “Shit Happens” is appropriate for this living life well gen. Accept what has happened in your life and just get on with things.

Maybe your parents didn’t love you enough. Or someone didn’t finish a relationship with you the right way. Perhaps you were wronged on the job. Most people don’t do these things on purpose. They just didn’t know any different.

If you want to, you can let go of any feelings of resentment, of regret, or anger.  You can think of yourself as a fabulous human being because of all the bad things that have happened to you.  Try not to use labels such as “good” and “bad.”  Yes, I am aware that some of it is indeed bad, but it is how we let it affect us that is the real “bad.”

Letting Go of the Past

I had a seriously dysfunctional childhood and for a long time I was resentful and very angry.  I blamed my upbringing for all the messed up things I was doing.  It’s so easy to do. I also didn’t realize that I had a lot of unresolved grieve and regret as well. 

But once I accepted that what was done was done, and that I could choose to forgive and get on with my life, things improved enormously.  And I am glad I made peace with my mother, for she died about 1 year after I let it all go.

All of the cruel things she did to me; all of the days and nights of sadness and despair. By practicing acceptance and letting go, they were replaced with a humble acceptance that my mother had a brutal life and I was simply one of the catastrophes she couldn’t cope with.

Can’t Change What You Can’t Change
movingforward on justruminating mens' blog

Just remember, even if you could get in front of you all the people who had “done you wrong,” and railed at them for 30 minutes there would still be nothing they could do.

You could shout at them, berate them, rant at them, but there would be nothing they could do to make amends or put things right. 

It’s water over the bridge. It’s pie in the sky. What are you going to do with your life today?

They too would have to accept that what’s done is done.  There is no going back, only forward.  Make it a motto for life–keep moving forward. Just let it go. Whatever is an albatross around your neck. Set it free and see how much better your life will become almost instantly. Like the popular saying in A.A. goes “Let Go, Let God.”

Living Life Well: Keep Swimming

living_life_well_on_recoverywise

Gems for living a life of wellness. Lessons I have learned, or am learning, during this crazy journey through life.

Life is not easy.  Best to thank God–or whoever or whatever you choose to so thank–it is so.  If it were easy, we wouldn’t be tested, tried, forged in the fire of life.  We wouldn’t grow or learn or change, or even have a chance to rise above ourselves.

So trying to be thankful that life is a struggle some of the time is a good practice.  Remember, only dead fish swim with the stream.  For the rest of us, there will be times when it’s simply an uphill, upstream struggle.  We have to keep swimming or be swept away.  But with each flick of the tail, each surge of our fins makes us stronger and fitter.

Try to see each setback as a challenge, as an opportunity for growth.  Thinking of life any other way will have you dead in the water in no time.

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There’s a reason why, for men, retirement is a bad idea.  A study showed that lots of retirees die within a relatively short time of handing in their charge cards.  They have ceased to swim against the current and got swept away.

Struggles don’t come to an end, but there are lulls in-between–backwaters where we can rest for a while and enjoy the moment before the next obstacle gets thrown our way. 

And that’s what life is, what it is meant to be: a series of struggles and lulls.  And whatever situation you are in now, it’s going to change. Keep swimming, little fish, keep swimming.

My Ruminations: Me A To Z Dislikes II

My Ruminations Robert Levasseur
My Ruminations Me A To Z

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Since I have already done a ‘Likes’ version of Me A to Z, I thought it would be fun to do a ‘Dislikes’ version. This is Part II. Read Part I Here. One of my regular readers commented on Part I “That’s a lot of resentments.” I politely disagreed, saying I just felt passionate about some topics in life. However, I decided that Part II would be a little more lighthearted; there may have been a kernel of truth to what he suggested. And I certainly don’t like the idea of having resentments.

I have done list posts before about me. The first one that comes to mind is a post titled 40 Impressions of Me. Quite a while ago I also wrote A Few Things About Me. So, if you are crazy-excited about learning more about your humble writer, hurry up over to those posts. Writing Me A to Z really made me think about who I am and what I truly dislike about living my life in this crazy world. So, without further ado, here is Part II of my list N-Z.

…….

N-achos. As in soggy ones. You gotta eat those bastards quickly; otherwise, they became nasty soggy and I do not like soggy nachos. As a matter of fact, I think I will use Soggy as my S word in this list. I mean, what good are soggy nachos? You can’t scoop up ANYTHING with them! So, eat your nachos quickly, but not so quick that you end up choking and someone has to perform a heimlich maneuver to save your ass. That would be quite the story around the Thanksgiving table next year.

O-piods. Not because they are highly addictive. But because of the constipation that they cause. I was prescribed Vicodin after the major back surgery I had in ’97. Yeah, that was caused by the following events: I got drunk at a chinese restaurant. I left said restaurant without paying. I was chased by the police. I jumped a fence behind Dunkin’ Donuts. The ground behind the fence was way far away. I fractured my spine. I spent the night in jail. Opioids cause incredibly painful constipation if you abuse them, or if you don’t drink lots of fluids. I know that now.

P-eeing. That’s right, peeing has started becoming a pain in the ass (huh, another p-word concept). Now that I am rounding the corner to 57, peeing has become an interesting event. Sometimes I can’t pee, even though I have to pee. Sometimes it doesn’t go where it is intended (think morning here guys). Sometimes it goes-stops-goes some more. Unpredictable peeing is a pain in the ass.

Q-uarantine. As in the people who refuse to quarantine themselves while we are dealing with a pandemic! It annoys me that this country doesn’t just go into quarantine and be done with this mess, once and for all. Are we just stupid, ignorant, or just don’t care about anyone but ourselves? I know, speak for yourself (but yours truly has pretty much stayed in his house, shops online and uys groceries via Walmart pick-up, and wears a mask if he has to go out, so shut yer blower!) But hey, that’s not the American Way! Just like when 9-11 happened: we were all gungho about waving flags, anti-terrorism, and all that for about 5 seconds. Then we do what Americans do, we went back to binge-watching The Office.

R-esponsibility. Being responsible is a royal pain in the ass! I mean, when I was drinking, all I had to do was sell more cars and ignore paying anyone but the guy at the liquor store and a dealer once in awhile. Sure, I paid my car payment to get to work. But that was mostly it when I was in my last years of embracing alcoholism as much as humanly possible. But now, I have all these RESPONSIBILITIES. Yuck.

S-ogginess. My hate affair with sogginess, I believe, can be traced back to the chicken pot pies we were forced to eat as children. Remember those? I know, they still make them. Talk about scalding hot! The outside crust was fine, but boy did I hate the soggy innards of those things. Come to think of it, I cannot stand soggy bread period. If I make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I put peanut butter on BOTH sides, so the jelly won’t seep through the bread and make it soggy. Meatball sub leaking through the bottom, gross! Italian sub with dressing, NO THANKS. However, I do like dipping bread in olive oil, but it’s not the same as some disgusting sub or sandwich that is leaking sauce or dressing. Which is why I NEVER order subs to go or for delivery. I also feel anything soggy, it is deeply troubling.

T-oenails. I have always hated dealing with my toenails. Even when I wasn’t overweight like I am now. They are difficult to get at! Besides that, I have a few of them that are ingrown. Thus, they are painful as all hell! I went to one of those foot spa places. You know the kind. I thought I would get a professional pedicure (don’t laugh guys, they are actually PHENOMENAL, that is if the wonderful ladies there are not all laughing at you and pointing to your feet.) I’ll never walk into one of those again.

U-ndertaker . Somebody has to do it, right? I don’t like the idea of an undertaker. It would mean I’m dead, and that would suck big-time. An undertaker takes your body and puts it under, right? Hmmm, not if you’re going to get cremated! Like I plan on being. Not going to spend eternity lying in the fucking ground, slowly decaying. Nay, really slowly decaying because of all the chemicals they put in me so I WON’T decay so fast. Uh Uh. I’m going into the oven to go back to whence I came: ashes to ashes, dust to dust. The Undertaker may be hauling my ass to the Funeral Home, but then he’s gotta roll me on into the furnace. No dirt naps for me, thank you very much.

V-alentines Day. I’m not even going there.

W-eebles. Why the hell would Weebles wobble, but not fall down? I mean, come on. I just don’t understand who made this stupid toy. Get me in a room with him or her! I want to know…no, I DEMAND to know who came up with this and why! When I was a kid I didn’t want things to wobble and not fall down! I wanted them to crash and burn like Evil Knievel’s Motorcycle toy. Anyone remember that? You put this strip within the cycle, pulled it and it would send the cycle off like a bat out of hell. Weebles wobbling, but not falling down…pffsssh.

X-ylophone. Not too many words that are relatable in the X family. But the xylophone. The xylophone, other than the fact that I can’t type the damn word fast, is a stupid toy for little children (and for parents). First of all, it does not make any truly worthwhile musical contribution as far as I can tell. It does create redundant sounds by little boys and girls that make you want to ring it into the backyard, douse it in lighter fluid and watch it burn though! Also, looking up the definition, there are supposed to be TWO wooden mallets to make it worthwhile; why do most that I have seen only come with one??!! Fuck the xylophone.

Y-ankees. Part of why I am partially brain-dead is because, although I grew up in New Hampshire, my father didn’t root for the Red Sox–like every other kid’s father in the neighborhood. Oh no, he was a RABID Yankees fan! What act of the Gods would strike me with this oppression? All my life I’ve had to endure his toxic fanship of the Yankees. And you can bet your ass he was toxic about it. Just like everything else about him. But I digress. Yankee fans are a different breed from the rest of the baseball fans out there. I especially hate it when they continue to revel in the 26 championships they have won in their illustrious history. I will forever ADORE and REVERE the year we came back down 0-4, and wiped that Yankee smirk of those Yankee fan’s faces. Good enough for me!

Z-oos. While it is certainly cool to see a variety of animals you would otherwise only see in pictures and videos, I do not condone the harboring of nature within cages. But caging up wild animals for the sake of human enjoyment does not appeal to me whatsoever. I think zoos should be refuges for hurt or injured animals, but only as a means for nursing them back to health and releasing them.

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