when they ask to hear the story years later i will tell it in the momenthow it was so near to the beachif you closed your eyes and the trains were far enoughyou could feel the jetty creak beneath the weight of glowing bonesa summer dusk in octoberwe watched the sun set for an houruntil […]
I just wanted to say that I appreciated the thoughtful comments I received on Part I. Especially those from Silverapplequeen, Cindy over at Unique Times, my long-time subscriber Ronnie, and the young lady (who has an amazing blog or two for such a young writer) over at Introverted Thoughts.
Comments and Community
In Why Blog Comments Matter, I was supposed to tell you why, but I kinda never did! Instead, I spiraled off into discussing comment statistics and bashing the WordPress Reader. So today I am going to dive right into how feedback (comments) help to build a vibrant community between our blogs, as I only briefly did in my post from 4 years ago! Which is another way of showing you why blog comments matter.
There are many ways in which comments can affect the author. And, depending on the comment thread, can really have a great affect on the community surrounding the author. Here are some of the ways that comments can affect not only the author, but the communities that author is connected to:
my work is worthwhile
people were touched
supply positive reinforcement
I should keep going
I am uplifted
people are getting it
encourage meaningful dialogue
people are joining in
strengthen community ties
I feel connected
provide words of affirmation
my work is meaningful
Why Blog Comments Matter – In A Nutshell
As an aside, there is a great book called The 5 Love Languages, by Gary Chapman. The author basically illustrates that most of us respond to any one of five love languages. That our relationships would all be that much better if we figure out our significant others’ Love Language. Commenting certainly has to do with one of them: Words of Affirmation.
People with words of affirmation as a love language value verbal acknowledgments of affection, including frequent “I love you’s,” compliments, words of appreciation, verbal encouragement, and often frequent digital communication like texting and social media engagement. “Written and spoken shows of affection matter the most to these people,” says couples’ psychotherapist Fariha Mahmud-Syed, MFT, CFLE. “These expressions make them feel understood and appreciated.”
Perhaps Words of Affirmation is not your particular language, but I think most of us would agree that using Words of Affirmation in our comments, will most certainly have a positive effect on that blogger; considering that the other 4 Love Languages are not really viable options in the blogosphere, we’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain in supplying them! For me it’s also just an act of kindness to lift a blogger up who has few to no comments on a post that is particularly worthwhile. The reward is in the deed itself.
So When Should We Comment Then?
That’s up to you. Since it is both impractical and unnecessary to comment on every blog post we read, when should we comment then? These are the times that I will more often than not post a comment: Each one links to an actual post I commented on.
My friend, Chuck, was excited. He was all set to ride his 25th century (100 miles, not kms) for 2020 yesterday. The weather was going to be perfect, too. Sunny, 65 at the start, 75 at the finish (1…
What does your list look like?
A Simple Comment Structure
Framing a comment doesn’t have to be difficult to be impactful. Here’s how I try to frame each of my comments whenever possible:
a. Expression of gratitude: “I really enjoyed what you had to say about…”
b. (optional) Empathetic Statement: I could identify with you subject matter because…”
c. Compliment: “This post was very well written. I particularly liked…”
d. Gratitude: “Thank you for taking the time to share such a great story.”
Or something along those lines. It doesn’t have to be a novel. It doesn’t have to be some great work of art. It just has to be genuine with the aim at making the author feel appreciated and heard.
Now go out and build your community! PS: Linking to other blogs within certain posts is a terrific way to encourage others to do the same! Even if they do not, it’s a great way to build interconnections between blogs, and to introduce to your community, blogs they may be unaware of but should be!
I came to believe in God in early 2015, when I was literally drowning in alcohol. I spent a year or so learning about who He is, and about the twelve steps of recovery. After countless relapses, and two trips to the hospital, I ALSO came to understand the importance of surrender.
This woman writes about something important and meaningful for those of us were/are there. Oh, and her writing is superb.
The other day, while talking to my mother-in-law, she told me “dear, you have been living in isolation at home for the past 6 months, you must make phone calls and talk to people more often. Call your friends, cousins..just talk to them regularly about anything that’s bothering you and which you can’t discuss with […]
Ever tell someone to do that? Ever say to yourself “I just need to let go.” and then wonder why – after two months – you’re still hurting over it/her/him/whatever? Jeez. How mysteriously annoying! I’ve said it and had it said to me numerous times. It is a mystery – the pain that refuses to […]