Tag: AA

Decision Time

Recovery Is Possible


Today I celebrate one year in recovery!  One year ago today I walked into probation to do my weekly check in. That day the officer did not say “See you next week.”

No, she said “We have a problem.” My ex accomplished her mission; get me into jail.  I spent 5 months there, contemplating drinking finally without her madness.

Then I decided I would transition to a VA Treatment Program. I finally realized I could never pick up again.  That drinking had ruined my life and would continue to do so unless I stopped.

I spent two months at that program. I began to confront my emotions. I began to learn about mindfulness, gratitude, acceptance, spirituality.  I began to write this blog, I began to meditate.

It wasn’t always easy. I looked around me at Vets would seemed to brag about relapsing over and over again. They would compare the number of times they had been to detox.

Not all of them, of course, but many. I judged them at first. Then I learned from them and took to heart the reasons for relapse. I dealt with life on life’s terms. I went to AA a few times, but for me my Recovery would become a private affair.

I then transitioned to a more lenient VA program. I remained there for 3 months. During that time I learned more how to manage my emotions. I learned that drinking really wasn’t my problem; it was how I managed all my pain and emotions that was.

I learned, through my work with paralyzed vets, gratitude and service to others. Those vets helped me to come out of my shell a little. I learned how to live in the NOW, after reading The Power Of Now by Echart Tolle.  I continued to practice meditation, which truly helped keep me centered and focused. But living life on life terms really helped me deal with all the hiccups in life.

Still homeless I chose to transition to something similar to a sober house, where I am today.

I have a decent job, a decent place to live, and for once in my life I have dreams and goals.

Many of you know I do not really have anyone in my life. I have a father who I have called once when I first left jail, and I have an elderly Aunt that I do talk to once in awhile. You also know I am not very adept at making friends, but here at my new place I am making strides.

That being said sometime towards the end of February I met a woman who would become my best friend and one true love. I have not disclosed who this is because she is a member of our community and her privacy is very important to me.  I will if she tells me she is comfortable with that.

Anyway, this woman has taught me what it means to be a true friend. She has been so supportive of me that I actually feel like I am finally home; that I can be my true self!  She has been there for me thorough everything. Even though she is dealing with her own life, she has proven herself to be an incredible friend.  She is a huge part of my recovery; of my growth and maturity.

Over time we have developed a bond I cannot even describe. I want to avoid cliches!  We have a life plan, she is my friend. She is my partner in life. She is everything I have ever desired in a person, let alone a woman.  Everyday I feel lucky, so very lucky to have her in my life.  And I am deeply in love with her!  Trust me when I say that I never knew what love was until her!

Today I celebrate one year of recovery.  It can be done!  This is my first effort in 36 years to recover!  With a deep commitment to yourself and survival you can do it!  If you know anyone who is suffering, please, share my story. Perhaps it might help them.

And finally, I want to thank you, all my dear members of this community who have shown me love and support. I just want you to know you have also helped me, more than you know. Thank you so very much!

Safe & Sound Treatment: Your Story

safeandsound treatment on justruminating men's blogWonderful words of inspiration and hope from my new friends on Instagram Safe & Sound Treatment!

Follow them on Facebook HERE.

Visit their website HERE.

A.A. Today: Give It Away

wp-1485821892780.jpgAA Today are daily readings from the book “Twenty-Four Hours A Day.”

“Twenty-Four Hours A Day is intended for members of Alcoholics Anonymous as a help in their program of living one day at a time.

It is designed for those who want to start each day with a few minutes of thought, meditation, and prayer.”

March 1, 2017

When I find myself thinking about taking a drink, I say to myself:  “Don’t reach out and take that problem back.  You’ve given it to God and there’s nothing you can do about it.”  So I forget about the drink.  One of the most important parts of the A.A. program is to give our drink problem to God honestly and fully and never to reach out and take the problem back to ourselves.  If we let God have it and keep it for good and then cooperate with Him, we’ll stay sober.  Have I determined not to take the drink problem back to myself?

Meditation for the Day

Constant effort is necessary if I am to grow spiritually and develop my spiritual life.  I must keep the spiritual rules persistently, perseveringly, lovingly, patiently, and hopefully.  By keeping them, every mountain of difficulty shall be laid low, the rough places of poverty of spirit shall be made smooth, and all who know me shall know that God is the Lord of all my ways.  To get close to the spirit of God is to find life and healing and strength.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that God’s spirit may be everything to my soul.  I pray that God’s spirit may grow within me.

My Recovery: A.A. Slogans (Pt. II)

wp-1484928101125.jpgI go to A.A. at least twice a week. I mainly sit there, absorb, and leave. I’m into the message, not the medium. I am into the Big Book, but I am not a huge advocate of A.A. I take what I need from it and I leave the rest for someone else.

That being said, A.A. has a lot of terrific slogans that can be applied to anything in life. I have compiled a list and put comments next to each one as to what I think that slogan means for me, not for you, for me. Feel free to comment with any I have missed. You don’t have to go to A.A. to benefit from A.A., but it is one of the pillars by which I remain sober today.

Here is Part II of the list. Part I can be found HERE

  • I can’t handle it God, you take over–giving your will over to a Higher Power.  Surrender fuels freedom and acceptance.
  • One day at a time–shrink your world into a manageable situation.  Don’t think in terms of years, months, but days, even hours.
  • Keep an open mind–closed minds do not receive key information to assist you in solving your problem.  Let it in!
  • Willingness is the key–being willing is the second step after Recognition.  If you are willing, then all things are open to you.
  • More will be revealed–keep paying attention, keep coming, keep that open mind and you will not stop progressing.
  • You will intuitively know–your gut will tell you what you need to know.
  • Don’t quit 5 minutes before the miracle happens–you never know how close you are to a solution.
  • Some of us our sicker than others–you are no better or no worse off than anyone else.
  • Alcoholism is an equal opportunity destroyer–alcoholism didn’t pick you because you’re special.  It hurts everyone who is alcoholic.
  • Practice an attitude of gratitude–gratitude will keep you grounded and makes you appreciate what you have, not what you don’t have.
  • God is never late–He is always there.  You just have to tap into Him (or your Higher Power).
  • Have a good day unless of course u have made other plans–you determine how your day is going to be going.
  • I can have complete serenity at this very moment…if I live in denial–it’s ok to feel what you feel.  Denying feelings is a problem.
  • We came to AA to save our ass, and found out our soul was attached–alcoholism is a disease of the spirit more than it is a disease of the body.
  • It’s alcohol-ISM, not alcohol-WASM!–you are never cured.  Don’t live with a false sense of security.
  • I can only carry the message, I can’t carry the drunk!–no one can save me from myself but myself.

So what sayings have I missed?  What do some of these slogans mean to you, either in recovery, or in your everyday life?  Please keep in mind, the interpretations of these slogans I applied to ME.  Obviously they can mean something much different for you!