Recovery: Counting The Months
I just passed the 57 month mark in recovery from alcoholism. Or as they call it nowadays Alcohol Use Disorder. I make a post every month with the number of months in my recovery. I intend to do so until I cannot count anymore.
Some folks don’t pay attention to their sobriety date. For them it is good enough knowing that they are still sober. I feel the need to celebrate my recovery every month. It keeps me mindful of just how little time I have in sobriety. I was an alcoholic for 36 years, so having 57 months clean is a short period of time relatively speaking.
I also buy myself a recovery medallion on the anniversary of my sobriety. Really nice ones. My 4 year medallion is pure silver. I carry them all in my pocket when I am out and about. I play with them sometimes. Especially if I am in a stressful situation. The sound of them jingling in my hand keeps me grounded. I want to always be mindful that I am still in recovery. And I don’t plan on having something blindside me into relapsing. By continually posting my recovery time I keep vigilant and watchful over my dark passenger.
If I learned anything at all during my treatment at various VA hospitals its this: most of my fellow Veterans ended up relapsing because of a false sense of security. They let their guards down. They took on too much in life and veered from being ever mindful that their disease could reel them in quickly and unremarkably. The lessons I learned in all those classes stick with me to this day.
As a result I am proud of the fact that I have not relapsed since my sobriety date of May 12, 2016. Trust me, there were more than a few occasions since that date that I could have picked up. I could have thrown away my recovery because I let my guard down. But I didn’t. I stayed the course and have 57 months unbroken pure recovery. I don’t buy into the shit concept that “Relapse is part of recovery.”
Relapse is a part of my disease. Recovery is part of my cure. I don’t have to keep falling to realize I’m not standing upright anymore. I will continue to post my sobriety months. I will continue to remain vigilant. I will keep an eye on my dark passenger and keep him well subdued. I can’t wait until my 60 month mark. I can’t wait to purchase a 5 year recovery medallion.
Maybe when I get to 36 years sobriety I will stop counting. At that point I would equal the time I was an alcoholic. Then again, I might not make it to 88. But I sure as hell will try.