My Ruminations: My Stuff
So late last light my friend calls me and tells me that the owners of the dealership, where my worldly belongs have been since May of last year, wanted my stuff out by this morning or they would throw it away!
So he met me this morning and I went over to the dealership and loaded all of my belongings in one car. I couldn’t fit a few nicely framed sports pictures, or my fishing pole, but the manager said he didn’t mind keeping them in his office.
So there I was, wheeling all my worldly possessions down the hallway on a lunch dolly. At first I felt like a loser, then I remembered where I was: we’re all homeless vets!
To be honest, I wasn’t sure what my reaction would be to this newly shrunk world of belongings. Keep in mind, when I went off to jail, I had furniture, a $5,000 bed, a 60″ TV.
In just the year before I had collectibles, thousands of baseball cards, golf clubs, watches. Except for the furniture, I sold everything at yard sales to keep me drinking and smoking. The ex sold everything (including her house) and moved to Florida.
What I have left is basically clothes, 20 or 30 baseball cards, some fishing gear, some books (a helluva nice shot glass collection–what the hell am I going to do with that?), a few odd trinkets, and tons of clothes. That’s it. Everything else? History. Considering I had nothing I jail, I consider myself wealthy.
I thought I would be upset. I thought I would be sad, I thought I would be pissed off. However, I wasn’t anything in particular. Actually, I was annoyed because now I have a shitload of laundry to do! But seriously, I was proud of the fact that I really didn’t care.
Besides, it’s just stuff. None of it got me sober. None of it will keep me sober. I have come to appreciate what I do have. When I first got a cell phone again, I was ecstatic! Alas! My mother’s ashes have gone missing, I am not happy at all about this. But I still have her in my heart.
I used to depend upon having lots of stuff to keep me happy. Now that I don’t have much stuff to speak of, I find that it never did make me happy. I make me happy. But I won’t lie, I am happy to have my winter boots, haha! Seriously though, I’m liking this Acceptance-Gratitude-Contentment Trio that has been operating in my head (mostly), for the last few months.
take all my possessions, just leave me pen and paper I have said before. Still feel the same.
Wow, I have just started reading your blogs and I can feel myself through you.
I cant think of a higher compliment, you’re comment means everything to me, I’m humbled
great post, hi
yes, it’s just stuff and can be so much fun choosing more 😉
Indeed!
You are so right 💛
Not that I wanted to be sometimes lol
You are though… stuff is nothing if you’re not ok inside x
I was just recently thinking about how humans hoard so much useless stuff even though we barely need most of it and was just thinking that so many things we have are unnecessary and we just have it for the sake of it. Actually let go of material items makes me feel better these days because I hate clutter and useless things lying around and living simply is better. Simplicity brings peace to life.
Yes indeed. I’d like to continue to live a sort of minimalist existence for life if possible
Yeah that’s really great! I mean you’ve come so far which is awesome 🙂
I have. Now I’ve gotta build on this and get out on my own when I’m done
Yes absolutely and I totally believe that you can 🙂
Good job 👏…
Rob you are getting there…
Be proud of you..
material things don’t make a man
You are going to rise above this.and be better for it
Thanks so much!
I think you have found yourself , peace doesn’t come from inanimate things. I can feel the peace in this your post.
Still working on it Yaz!
Rob, You tell your story word by word until it builds the most beautiful picture of a man surviving what it is that has to be survived. I hear hope in your story and am guessing there’s a lot of good stuff buried here in other blog pages. Before I forget it, are you close to a vet center where you can sign in for a warm and safe place to sleep? I’m a caregiver for a Vietnam era Veteran and the idea of any Veteran sleeping anyplace that’s not warm and safe is totally unacceptable to me. It sounds as though you’ve come so far in your recovery. That takes courage, man. Keep up the good work. Your writing is sensitive and speaks from the soul. Keep posting.
Thanks so much, yes I’m currently in a VA residential treatment program. Thank you for your kind words about my writing. Nobody ever accused me of pulling punches lol
Rob, I love your honest writing. If it were fake, it would come through as garbage but the words work together and tell the story of who you are and the great work you are doing. I truly enjoyed reading it. [and you do have storytelling ability]. I do a lot of writing around the subject of mental health. I’ve always believed it was writing that saved my life. However, back in the dark ages we weren’t allowed to use computers, only yellow tablets and stubby pencils!
Second it