My Recovery: Thoughts On Recovery

my_recovery

Ok, so I haven’t written about my sobriety or recovery in a little while.  I will tell you I am strong and healthy in it.  I am doing well.  However, I am noticing a disturbing trend:  many of our fellow writers are tormented with recovery “shoulds,” and rules that are really myths.  So I’d like to share my own two cents on this.

First of all, I am not sure counting recovery days is a sound practice.  But I do see it’s value for many people.  What I don’t think is healthy is folks who feel as though they must reset their sobriety date because of a slip; a perceived relapse.  Also, get rid of should haves, would haves, could haves; they are all self-defeating and serve no purpose in your long-term recovery plans.

ONLY I CAN PREVENT MY RELAPSE–NO OTHER PERSON, PLACE OR THING CAN

A slip is just that:  you drank or used and the next day you realized the error of your ways, and so you re-devoted yourself to your sobriety.  Plain and simple, forgive yourself!  Be compassionate to yourself and just keep on keeping.  Your sobriety date need not change!

A relapse is a more prolonged conscious decision to pick up again.  A relapse can go for several days, or several months.  In my opinion a prolonged relapse warrants a recovery date reset.  A relapse of an extended length kind of defeats the purpose of having a recovery date.

sobriety on justruminating men's blog

I TELL MYSELF EVERYDAY:  I WILL DRINK TOMORROW, BUT NOT TODAY

As far as judging yourself for the feelings you are having:  STOP IT!  It is OK to feel whatever feelings you are feeling at the time you are feeling them!  Emotions are going to get a lot stronger than they are weaker, I can attest to that personally!

We used to numb feelings.  We used to escape.  We used to isolate and avoid.  Now that we are not using, we are faced with the things that we tried so hard to avoid:  FEELINGS.  So, please, fellow drunks and addicts, give yourself a break!  Accept yourself in the situations you find yourself in and do the best you can!  Love yourself as much as you can while you are learning to be yourself once again.

THERE IS A SIMPLE FACT THAT KEEPS ME SOBER:  PICKING UP IS NOT AN OPTION!

I care about each and every one of you and your struggles.  I may not always get a chance to read all your posts, but you can ALWAYS reach out to me if you need a friend.  You can ALWAYS email me just to vent.  I know what it’s like to struggle.  I know what it’s like to be alone.  I know what it’s like to fight for each hour on some days.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE!  Email me any time:  keatsj1964@gmail.com.  I really do care.  If I can help someone struggling, then that helps my struggle too!

signs of relapse

21 comments

  • A lot of this has been very much on my mind. I’m an addict – it doesn’t matter what, I’ll get addicted. In some respect, I am “lucky” that I have always caught myself before going too far, I guess. Eating disorders, alcohol – if it ultimately hurts me, I’m all about it.

    Everything you wrote here is predominantly how I speak to myself. I live each day as a day. I used to live each day as forever. It’s exhausting, endless misery. Thank you for writing this!

  • Reblogged this on cultural atheist and commented:
    This is a powerful post for anyone that is in a recovery journey. Be kind and compassionate with yourself; love yourself enough to continue one day at a time.

  • So many people are overwhelmed by a sense of failure. This needs to be said. The most powerful part was, “Plain and simple, forgive yourself! Be compassionate to yourself and just keep on keeping. Your sobriety date need not change!” Do you mind if I share this on my blog?

  • Thank you for spreading the word on slips and relapses. People who think they have to start over after one night often go back to drinking because of the guilt or because it seems too hard to start again. It shouldn’t be that way. Thank you!

  • Great post, thanks Rob. I see a lot of those things I do in it. Glad to have found your blog.

  • This is a really comforting post. The most helpful and hard to come by gift that a person can offer is their time & empathy!! Life can be brutal at the best of times, and recovery (for me) feels like trying to survive a storm: everything is unfamiliar & some days I’m just trying to hang on knowing that today’s storm will pass. Destructive, self-medicating behavior is what is familiar to me…recovery is messy, painful and I have no idea what my destination is. Thanks for sharing your thoughts

    • As you know I am always here for you! I hope that your manpanion is waking up to your reality as well! I am going through medicating and sobriety and feelings everyday. It is not easy. We do not walk alone in this you nor I! I know it doesn’t feel that way, but I am out here and you can always come and visit, or write me.

  • Some great advice! Very selfless of you Robbie. Not many really think about others, it’s mostly all about them. Keep at it.

  • Rob, this advice can apply to so many things. Thank you.

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