My Recovery: The Hell With Triggers
I’m proud of myself! Yesterday I was faced with two events that normally would have triggered me to drink. I won’t get into what they were, suffice it to say one was a major disappointment, the other was an awful reminder of the life I once had.
I have had little chance to experience “bumps in the road” in my sobriety. I am in a treatment facility that is safe and that holds you accountable in your recovery. Since they test randomly, a lot of folks feel that the true test of recovery doesn’t occur until you are on your own. I disagree.
Although I am randomly tested, I still choose not to pick up. I don’t care where I end up finding myself, sobriety is a choice I make everyday. And, to me, it doesn’t matter where I am: I am still responsible for my actions and reactions.
With yesterday’s two triggers I would have normally just gone to the package store and stocked up. I didn’t. I would have normally let my mind wrap itself around the issues and unravel. I did not. I refused to give those two events any more attention or emotions than a “healthy” person would have. I have come so far!
I am so proud of myself for maintaining my mental health–something I wrote about yesterday “Change The Tape.” I let my feelings come, then I took an honest look at both events and dealt with them. I dealt with life on life’s terms. And you know what happened? Nothing! I didn’t have a meltdown. I didn’t go to the drink. I didn’t even let them ruin my night! I simply let them be what they were and moved on.
Yes, I do not need to be in “real life” to know that my recovery plan is doing just fine. I am doing just fine. I no longer have to let my past define my present, and I no longer need to let the future dictate my feelings. I can simply live in the now, live fully present. I can simply deal with them, and then go fold the laundry.