My Recovery: Men Can Give Birth


I know, I thought the same thing “Wtf?”  But it’s true, men can give birth.  They can give birth to great ideas.  They can spawn evil and mayhem.  Or, in my case, they can give birth to a healthy 9 months of sobriety!

Yes, today I celebrate my 9th month alcohol and drug free!  I can’t lie, it hasn’t been the hell I have seen it can be for others here.  I thank my Higher Power for that.  I also always have in the back of my mind the phrase one of the counselors says all the time:  “The real test is out there [meaning when you’re on your own]”

I guess that’s true to some degree.  There is accountability here:  we are randomly urine-tested and breathalyzed.  Even so, I am the one who has decided not to drink or drug.

There have been at least 5 people who have not come back to the program after a pass.  I’m still here.


I am going to pat myself on the back and relish in the fact that I have never stayed clean for more than 3 months in 35 years.  Today I have 9 months!  And, for those who have been following me, you know that I use multiple methods for staying sober.

I think it’s funny, last week a blogger who ultimately told me I disgusted her–because apparently she felt I was criticizing her interpretation of one of my poems, then she power blasted me with comments–accused me of “12 stepping” her. 

I laughed my ass off.  I am not some huge proponent of AA, though I think aspects of it have its merits for me:  mainly its literature.


I don’t like some of their philosophies of join a group, get a sponsor, 90 meetings in 90 days, all of that jazz (at least that’s generally what you find out HERE).

I do love the Big Book and the way of living they describe.  Oh, and I can’t lie, they have some GREAT slogans to live by!  That will be another post entirely (remind me if I forget).

Nor do I espouse God and religion, though I do quote from a book that is extremely religious.  Again, aspects of Christianity appeal to me, so I utilize them.

I guess if you asked me “How have you stayed sober?” I would say this:  I have stayed sober through utilizing many different approaches.  Here are a few ways I keep myself on the straight and narrow:

  • I read the Big Book of A.A.
  • I read Twenty Four Hours A Day
  • I read Christianity Texts–I also read the Bible extensively in jail
  • I meditate
  • I listen to my music playlists frequently
  • I utilize the skills I learned in CBT–Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
  • I take lots of walks, lots
  • I try to workout as much as I can–but I have been slacking
  • I attend N.A. and A.A. meetings
  • I see a therapist once a week
  • I make sure I have proper nutrition
  • I make sure I have adequate sleep
  • I blog copiously–right?  lol.  Promoting other poets, posting about spirituality, etc.  keeps my eye on the prize.  While the writing has certainly kept my thoughts and emotions from building up, it’s the HUGE amount of support I get from my community that has been the BIGGEST factor in my maintaining sobriety!
community on justruminating men's blog

Every time I get comments it encourages me I am doing the right thing.  Every time someone says they were inspired or got something from what I wrote, it HELPS KEEPS ME SOBER, so thank you so very much!

So there you have it.  No mysteries here.  I do not write to promote one way of sobriety over another.  I do not think one method works over another, FOR ME.  I use MULTIPLE APPROACHES.

I simply wanted to present a few of the approaches I have found work for me.  I feel it’s important to share That is what my blog is about:  RECOVERY, MY LIFE AS I AM LIVING IT, POETRY.

As a closing thought I want you to know the number one reason I have been successful:  A DESIRE FOR A BETTER LIFE AND TO AVOID NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES.  I was always aware of the consequences of my drinking, but I never gave a shit.  Now I do.

I no longer want to destroy relationships and friendships.  I no longer want to be hung-over.  I don’t want to go to jail for violating my probation.  I no longer want to be the complete drunken ass that I was when I was drinking.  I no longer want to waste my hard earned money.

My 9 Month Sober Chip!
9 Month Sobriety Chip

I no longer want to be a prisoner to booze.  I’ve learned that I can stay sober, or I can live in recovery.  Sobriety is not Recovery, and I believe I truly am living in Recovery.  Finally, anyone who knows me by now knows they can reach me for support at any time via my Contact Page.  YOU ARE NOT ALONE.


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