Category: Recovery

Living Life Well: Time For You

Gems for living a life of wellness. Lessons I have learned, or am learning, during this crazy journey through life.

Most people think they get this next concept, leave some space for yourself everyday, but most people might be wrong.  YOu may think you have a little quality time each day for yourself, but I bet you don’t.  

You see, even in our time alone we spend so much of it worrying about others, caring for our family, friends, and loved ones, that there is very little left over entirely for ourselves.  what I am proposing isn’t revolutionary or difficult or extreme.

In fact, it’s pretty easy.  Just leave a little space for yourself each day.  Perhaps only 10 minutes (ideally half an hour) put aside and devoted entirely to yourself?  Selfish?  You bet. metime2 Of course it is, and justifiably so–you are the captain, the engine, the driving force, the motivator, the rock.  You need that time to regenerate, renew, invigorate yourself.  If you don’t, you aren’t taking on fresh fuel, your engine will run down and so will you.

So what are you going to do with that time? Answer:  absolutely nothing.  And I do mean nothing.  This isn’t time for lying in the bathtub, meditating, reading the paper, or sleeping.  This is a little space for you, a breather, a time to sit still and do absolutely nothing.  I find just sitting in a comfy chair just breathing is a fantastic boost a couple of times a day if I can manage it.

I find time spent doing nothing really important and as soon as I complicate it, it loses something.  If I add a cup of coffee to my solitude, then it’s a coffee break and not a space just for me.  If I listen to music, then it’s a music break.  If I have a companion with me and we chat, then it’s a social occasion.  I have moved away entirely from the concept of a little space for me.  Keep it simple.  Keep it bare.  Keep it pure!

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Living Life Well: Live For Today!

Gems for living a life of wellness. Lessons I have learned, or am learning, during this crazy journey through life.

Everyday we wake up is a fresh start, and we can make of it what we want, write on that blank canvas.  So, whatever the past was, let it go.  Don’t live in the past!

There is nothing you can do to change anything that has gone on before and so you must turn your attention to the here and now.  I know that it is hard to resist the allure of dwelling on what has gone before.  But if you want to be happy and successful at life, you have to turn your attention to what is happening for you right now. past1 You might be tempted to dwell on the past because it was awful or because it was wonderful.  Either way, you have to leave it behind because the only way to live is in the present.

If you’re revisiting the past because of regrets, then you need to be clear that you can’t go back and undo what you’ve done.  If you hang on to guilt, you’re only damaging yourself.  We’ve all made bad decisions that have adversely affected people around us that we professed to love but whom we treated disgracefully.  There isn’t a damn thing you can do to wipe the slate clean.

If you can, try to see the past as a room separate from the one you live in now.  You can go in there but you don’t live there anymore.  You can go visit, but it isn’t home any more.  past on justruminating men's blogHome is here and now.  Don’t miss what is happening now because you were too busy looking back, or later you’ll be busy looking back at this time and wondering why you wasted it.

Carpe Diem!

Living Life Well: Change What You Can

Gems for living a life of wellness. Lessons I have learned, or am learning, during this crazy journey through life.

If time is short, and it is, it makes sense to not go wasting any of it, not a precious drop!  So the idea here is pay attention to what, in your life, you have some control over, and let go of the rest!

Beating yourself up over things that you cannot control is counterproductive and such a waste of time.  I’m not saying you should stop caring about things or to walk away from those in need.  In fact quite the opposite in many ways, but there are areas in which you can make a personal difference and other areas where you’ll never even make a dent.

If you waste time struggling to change stuff that is obviously never going to be changed, then life will whizz past and you’ll miss it.  controlIf, on the other hand, you dedicate yourself personally to thing you can change, areas where you can make a difference, then life becomes richer and more fulfilled.  And the more rich it is, curiously, the more time you seem to have.

So, don’t waste time preaching to those who won’t listen.  Don’t continue to be concerned over the new President; it’s not going to change.  We don’t have to waste effort or energy or resources on things over which we have no control and no certainty of any success.  By changing ourselves, though, we can be assured of a result.

Living Life Well: 4 Keys To Successful Living

Gems for living a life of wellness. Lessons I have learned, or am learning, during this crazy journey through life.

Where does this come from?  It’s from a 17th Century samurai warrior.  This was his four point key to successful living–and swordsmanship.

No Fear

There should be nothing in this life that you are afraid of.  It there is, you might need to do some work on overcoming that fear.  Whatever your fear, face it head on and defeat it.

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No Surprise

Life seems to be full of them, doesn’t it?  You’re going along just fine and suddenly something huge rears up ahead of you.  But if you look carefully, there were clues all along the way that is was going to happen.  Whatever your situation now, it is going to change.  No surprises there.  So why does life seem to surprise us then?  Because we are asleep half the time.  Wake up and nothing can sneak up on you.

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No Hesitation

Weigh up the odds and then just get on with it.  If you hang back, the opportunity will have passed.  If you spend too long thinking, you’ll never make a move.  No hesitation means if there is a certain inevitability about a situation, then just throw yourself in head first and enjoy the ride.

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No Doubt

Once you have made your mind up about something, don’t go over it again and again.  Stop thinking and enjoy–relax and let go.  Stop worrying.  Be confident.  Be committed.  Have no doubt it was the right thing to do and no doubt that you will succeed.  Get on with it and trust your judgment completely.

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Living Life Well: Gut Instincts

Gems for living a life of wellness. Lessons I have learned, or am learning, during this crazy journey through life.

We have deep within us a wellspring of wisdom.  Some would call it intuition.  Learning to listen to your intuition is a slowly learned process.  I can’t tell you how many times I  didn’t listen to that tiny inner voice or paid attention to that tiny feeling that was trying to tell me that I was about to do something stupid.

Deep down you know when you’ve made a bad decision.  You know when you’ve got to apologize, make amends, put things right.  results on justruminating men's blogDeep down you know when you are about to do something that goes against your grain.  But you do it anyway!  Often, with unpleasant results.  Trust me, I have been there, done that, bought the shot glass.

If you can tap into that inner voice or feeling the feeling, you’ll find it can help.  It will become more than a mindless parrot perched on your shoulder, chanting “You messed up again” after the event.

Try running stuff past your inner you, before doing things and see what reaction you get.  As with anything, the more you do this, the easier it is to accomplish.

I want to clarify here.  When I say listen, I don’t mean listen to what goes on in your head.  Now that really is where the insanity lies.  No, I mean a stiller, quieter voice.  mirror on justruminating men's blogFor some it’s more a feeling than a voice–what we sometimes call gut instinct.

“Follow your gut” is advice you may have heard before.  I was taught a method whereby before I am about to make a decision, I go in front of the mirror and ask myself if it’s a good idea.

Trust me, when you are standing in front of the mirror and asking yourself out loud your own opinion or advice on something, you will find you will never steer yourself wrong!