As part of this brief series on Relationships and Unrealistic Expectations, I took the following quiz and tried to be as honest as possible. There is a link to the printable version. Take some time and do this with your partner, it’s a great way to see what is going on with you and with them!
1. Do you completely trust each other?
Yes, I believe we completely trust one another. That being said, I am aware that some of my behaviors with her may be seen as lack of trust. I believe now they are just symptomatic of me pushing unrealistic expectations onto her.
2. Do you believe in soul mates, and if so, do you believe you are each other’s?
I am not sure I believe in soul mates as it is generally understood. I do believe that we are highly compatible souls with an uncanny energy connection.
- When was the last time you said, “I love you?” If it’s been a while, why?
Today, and everyday.
- Are you satisfied with the intimacy you share?
For a long distance relationship I can say that it is most satisfying. I have mentioned to Bec that I would like her to take more of an initiative, but I recognize now that it might be a bit before she is comfortable doing that. I was taking this personally, but now I see again that I had been pressing an unrealistic expectation onto her.
- How often do you laugh together?
Everyday, and often.
- Do you feel you have made personal sacrifices for your relationship, and have they been reciprocated?
I don’t think I have had to make as many personal sacrifices as she has. She stays up well beyond her bedtime so we can talk. She spends an inordinate amount of time during her working day texting with me. She has done far more sacrificing than I have and I need to tell her that I appreciate that more often, though I do
- When you think of your partner, do you smile?
Always, always, always.
- Do you feel threatened when others find your partner attractive, and why?
No, not threatened, but I have told her it is something I will need to adapt to the fact that she has male friends. But threatened? Not the way we have sex.
- Do you believe your partner is your biggest advocate?
- How do you feel about your partner’s views on finances?
We share pretty much the exact same views.
- Do you enjoy spending time with your partner’s relatives? Friends?
Doesn’t apply, she’s almost 3,700 miles away lol.
- Do either of you dredge up resentments in arguments, and why have you struggled to let them go?
We haven’t really had all that many arguments. I think we have had maybe 4, mostly caused by me. In one instance it might have been mutual. That being said I know that I don’t have any resentments, and I believe she does not either. But I am not 100% sure.
- How do you feel when your partner arrives home after being away?
Well, I’ll relate it to not being able to text her or talk with her after 3 or 4 hours, it’s exciting and rewarding to be in her presence, always.
- Is your partner your best friend?
Many times over, for the most part. Though recently I have noticed less of a tendency toward friendship and more toward the emotional partner side reacting to a few of our more difficult situations. It’s hard to balance those two aspects.
- Is there a secret you are keeping that if your partner knew, you feel you would lose them?
- Do you feel that your partner accepts you?
Absolutely 100% unequivocally.
- When did you realize you had fallen in love, and how do you feel when you think about it?
Well, the emotions became clear to me the day she produced two lists itemizing many important aspects of her life and character. But it would have to be 2 or 3 weeks after that when I identified it as such. It felt amazing that I could be so lucky to find such an incredible woman and even more incredible person.
- Have you seen each other at your best and worst?
She probably has seen me close to my worst, even though she is not here lol. I am not sure I want to know what her worst is.
- Would you ever consider having an affair? Why? Why not?
Never. Why would I have an affair on my love, my life? I’d just stay single.
- Are you excited about your future together?
More than excited. But I realize that I have to temper that feeling with reality and a healthy dose of patience.
- Do you feel your relationship is a true partnership?
I think it is on the whole. I still feel, and even with the fact that I have placed unrealistic expectations on her from time to time, that I would like to see her blossom into the person she really is sooner than later. But I am patient, I’ll wait a very very long time.
- When was your last romantic outing?
Well we can’t take outings, per se, but you gave me something to think about there.
- Does it bother you if your partner has friends of the opposite sex, and why?
Yes, but not to the degree that it will hamper our relationship. I am aware, however, that it is something I will learn to accept because it is important to her.
- Do you accept each other’s belief systems?
Yes, luckily we both seem to share these essential believes to the singlest idea!
- When was the last time you talked about your future together, and were you on the same page?
We talked about our future on Friday, and I was shocked to learn that, while she agrees with our plans and our future, she was not willing to stake a vow on it. That really and truly hurt me. I have to figure out where to draw the line on my romantic notions.
- Do you feel as if you can communicate without saying a word?
Yes, I believe we can when we just look at each other. Not literally, but we feel that emotion shining through. I can see her face now.
- What is your happiest memory of your time together? Your worst? Are there more happy memories than unhappy ones?
When she told me she loved me. When I pissed her off over some stupid texts. Many, many more happy memories than unhappy ones.
- What is a relationship deal breaker for you, and have you overlooked one in this relationship?
If she ever cheated on me, I could never recover from that.
- How do you feel about the last, in-depth conversation you and your partner had?
I don’t know how in depth it was. I am not sure I was 100% satisfied that she was empathetic about me position. I am also not sure how convinced she was that she was wrong about a few minor things. But we were able to discuss it fairly thoroughly.
- Do you show your love for each other often, and if not, why?
Yes, I think we do for the most part.