My Recovery: The Hell With Triggers


I’m proud of myself!  Yesterday I was faced with two events that normally would have triggered me to drink.  I won’t get into what they were, suffice it to say one was a major disappointment, the other was an awful reminder of the life I once had.

I have had little chance to experience “bumps in the road” in my sobriety.  I am in a treatment facility that is safe and that holds you accountable in your recovery.  Since they test randomly, a lot of folks feel that the true test of recovery doesn’t occur until you are on your own.  I disagree.

Although I am randomly tested, I still choose not to pick up.  I don’t care where I end up finding myself, sobriety is a choice I make everyday.  And, to me, it doesn’t matter where I am:  I am still responsible for my actions and reactions.change on justruminating men's blog

With yesterday’s two triggers I would have normally just gone to the package store and stocked up.  I didn’t.  I would have normally let my mind wrap itself around the issues and unravel.  I did not.  I refused to give those two events any more attention or emotions than a “healthy” person would have.  I have come so far!

I am so proud of myself for maintaining my mental health–something I wrote about yesterday “Change The Tape.”  I let my feelings come, then I took an honest look at both events and dealt with them.  I dealt with life on life’s terms.  And you know what happened?  Nothing!  I didn’t have a meltdown.  I didn’t go to the drink.  I didn’t even let them ruin my night!  I simply let them be what they were and moved on.

Yes, I do not need to be in “real life” to know that my recovery plan is doing just fine.  I am doing just fine.  I no longer have to let my past define my present, and I no longer need to let the future dictate my feelings.  I can simply live in the now, live fully present.  I can simply deal with them, and then go fold the laundry.

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