My Miscellany: Let’s Talk About Kissing (part II)


wp-1485298089762.jpgYou really won’t get full appreciation for this if you don’t start with PART I!  But I did write this part as a stand alone piece, so it’s unnecessary.

When I had my first kiss with Angela, that summer of 1976, my life would never be the same!  I would spend the rest of my life trying to get that explosive emotional feeling back.  The journey for that feeling would alas be delayed; I was put on restriction for the remaining 2 months of the summer, never being allowed to leave my room.slowdance on justruminating men's blog

And then I discovered Boy’s Club Dances.  If you are old enough to remember, the 70’s provided many places and opportunities for teens to socialize at dances.  At some point during 1976 I was assigned a probation officer for destroying the interior of a car wash.  Dave Cooley was his name.  He had the wildest hair and a thousand mile stare.  He was the first advocate I ever had who would defend me and support me vigorously.  It was the first time I think I may have felt love and acceptance.

Anyway, he signed me up for the Boys Club, so that I could integrate with other kids.  Most of the time I read in the library (where I my passion for literature would also ignite), avoiding other kids.  Sometimes, however, I did play bumper pool and I got quite good.  But I digress.

The Actual Boy's Club Of My Youth
The Actual Boy’s Club Of My Awakening!

I will never forget my first dance.  It was mid-Fall.  In New Hampshire, where I am from, the leaves were vibrant and the air was crisp and cool.  I was allowed to go to my first dance.  Of course, there was no way they were going to give me a ride, so I walked the nearly 2 miles to the Boys Club.

Although I loved kicking leaves when I was a smaller child, I am pretty sure that my love of Fall was forged during those forays into the ethereal world of girls and kisses the during the Fall of 1976.

The minute I walked into the hall I was mesmerized.  There were kids everywhere!  There were lights flashing and the music was blaring and the walls were lined with girls!  I was in heaven.  I don’t know what it was, but although I couldn’t make friends, and I was painfully withdrawn, in that setting I had boundless courage.  I had no fear of rejection.  It was like I was transformed into another kid entirely.

I don’t remember specifically the girl I first asked to dance–and it was a slow dance, I never did dance fast at one of those dances lol.  I can still remember those solitary marches to my chosen mate.  So intent was my purpose, I would have tunnel vision only for her.

All I can tell you is what I normally felt in the arms of a young pretty girl in general, no one girl comes to mind.  I felt elation, rapture, peace, freedom, and more often than not excitement that I usually had to position myself to hide.neck

It would not take me long before I gained the courage to first make my lips present on a girl’s neck.  Oh, their necks!  The fragrances that would enrapture me!  Their scents making my heart pound erratically.  Who knew that such smells existed in all the world?

It was easy to geting away with putting my face there you know?  Just by virtue of being close I would steadily gain courage until I was hesitantly placing light kisses gently on those perfumed island of delights!

And then I discovered something incredibly telling:  my actions created certain reactions.  I could feel girls tremble, feel their knees grow weak.  I could feel my blood swirling in my veins, my loins!  I could here them try to control a breath escaping in what I would learn later would be sighs of desire!  It was thrilling!  Invariably the songs would end, I would impatiently wait for the next song to resume my loving assault on their femininity.

While the Bee Gees sang “Too Much Heaven,” “More Than A Woman“, while Yvonne Elliman sang “If I Can’t Have You“, while the Hollies crooned “The Air That I Breath” and during songs like “Dreamweaver,” “Baby Come Back,” and “My Eyes Adored You,” I lost myself in the sight, touch, scent of so many lovely young girls.  I escaped my terrible life of anguish.  My spirit soared incredibly high!

slow jams on justruminating men's blog

I don’t know when it was that I just stopped playing around and went in to steal sweet kisses.  But I do remember that the feeling I initially had gotten from Angela in that alcove was to be eclipsed by some serious passion.

During those slow dances I took command.  I was bold.  I was brave.  I was insistent and I was often met with appreciation in like kind.  Oh the feel of soft lips.  The taste of fruity gum, or mints, or just pure breath.  The light sweat that would dampen our faces!  The heat that would build between two innocent souls, dancing this dance of innocence.

Invariably the dances always ended with “Stairway To Heaven“, the greatest dance make out song ever created on the face of the earth (except maybe “Freebird“, but they didn’t seem to play that often).  I got so good at my timing that if I hadn’t made my move by the time

” And as we wind on down the road
Our shadows taller than our soul.”

started in the song, I was in trouble because it was moving too fast and the moment would be lost.  Then the lights would come on and I would dash out into the chill October air.  My sweat would feel glorious on my skin!  The air would be so pure and fresh.  I was alive!  I probably never touched the ground on my way home.  Of course, by the time I walked in the door, I would have to conceal my zeal and go back to my closed off self.

Yes, dear readers, those dances changed my life forever!  Desire, passion, need, want ignited inside me and never ever burned out.  In those halls I found myself.  In those halls I fell in love over and over again.  In those halls I learned just how powerful a kiss really could be.  Unfortunately, because of all my troubles and moving from juvenile halls to foster homes, over the next 6 years I would have relatively few opportunities to maintain a girlfriend, let alone kiss on a regular basis.  The Youth Detention Center is where I spent time when I was 13, 15, 17, 18.  Zero opportunities for kissing there, I can assure you!

Youth Detention Center in New Hampshire
Youth Detention Center Manchester N.H.

I did have a few brief dalliances.  Relationships where I was the veteran kissing expert.  Relationships that, though brief, I worked my magic on unwary girls.  I learned not to use my tongue as a plunger.

I learned how to avoid cracking teeth–ouch–I began to learn what girls do when their necks are assaulted with kisses and light traces of my tongue.

And so, dear readers, that is how my appreciation for kissing was forged.  There is much more to a kiss than meets the eye.  Enjoy the last dance:

43 comments on “My Miscellany: Let’s Talk About Kissing (part II)”

  1. how did you just do that! get me to fall in love with the same boy twice? first when he kissed Angela and then when he danced till his heart did not ache anymore? write poetry as a hobby – this is your forte – my knees were weak when you just said neck! I was slow to the game – first danced with a boy when I was in college and he gripped me like I was a mannequin in a store window! Lovely writing Rob!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Great post (series). I wonder what ever happened to Angela?! Is she somewhere in the world right now blogging about how that kiss was transformative for her too?

    You post made me miss high school and middle school. Life got so complicated after that. I remember when “Will he kiss me?” was of utmost importance in my life, haha. Good times. Thanks for bringing it back.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I really appreciate the way you share your truth. I was married for about 15 years, have three brothers, and three sons. It is amazing how wonderful men can be when women really listen to them. Our culture does great harm to us all. Women carry deep scars because of the fashion industry and the effect (excuse my crudeness) that the pornography industry in all its forms has on the way we see each other. There is a reason for all the alcoholism, PTSD, eating disorders, and violence. I want to say one last thing…because of the perfected images of women’s m bodies that are out there, women feel that if they cannot attain that image, they are not deserving of love. That stifling fear just serves to push real and compassionate men away. Keep writing real Rob. It is freeing others to do the same.

    Liked by 3 people

      1. Yes it is true though you might not ever see the good you do. It’s never all about the physical. We need more compassionate men to start telling the truth. The war industry thrives on all these falsehoods too. Many times our men carry that burden alone. If you can underlay your lust poems with that same appreciation for vulnerability and the real, and you will be a powerful healing force. I am Catholic so sex and love are never separated. Thank you for listening. Keep going brother.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. You paint a gorgeously rich picture Rob. Boy– does that bring back memories! Many a high school and middle school dance they played Stairway to Heaven and Freebird. Of course, I was never the girl guys like you asked to dance and kissed on the dance floor. Braces, glasses, huge frizzy hair– the 80’s were not kind to me! I watched boys like you dance with my pretty friends, not realizing how loaded, how emotional this was. Makes me think differently about those memories.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. It is interesting. When I was growing, girls were not taught that boys could be as vulnerable and insecure as they were. We were taught that anytime a boy touched us, kissed us, spent time with us it was because they wanted to get into our pants. It wasn’t until I became a woman that I met men willing to tell me that yes, they wanted to get into our pants bit that taking off their clothes makes them vulnerable as well. I always feel like I am taking off my skin when I am sexual with someone, not just my clothes. In honestly never occurred to me that boys/men felt the same way until my mid-20s. Society certainly does a number on us.

        Liked by 2 people

        1. That is the truth for sure. Is boys went through tremendous angst of a different kind. I just wanted the closeness, the passion. Its never beenbavout the sex for me, if that makes any sense. I mean of course sex is great, but because of how I developed towards my own emotionscanf girls at the time it’s always been sobmuchbmore profound

          Liked by 1 person

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