So I got the word that I am going into the 3 month VA Work Program next Thursday! I am ready for this next chapter in my recovery. I will have been here 2 months and it is time to move on. With no access to a gym, or AA meetings, it has been a long journey mostly of boredom.
At least in this new program I can walk to AA meetings. I can join the local YMCA for free and get back to taking good care of myself. I have been active, but a focused gym regime is just what the doctor ordered.
And today I stepped outside my comfort zone. I went out of my way to make the two new guys welcome in the program. I am now the senior resident here, the house members are all brand new to me. Making friendships is difficult with everyone coming and going. But lets be real, I haven’t exactly gone out of my way to forge any friendships either.
Since I will be at this place for 3 months, I realize I have to change how I am going about my relationships. Those of you who have been with me know this is my number one issue: I have to fight the fears of rejection, judgment, and mistrust. I have to abide by the Golden Rule and do unto others as I would want have done unto me.
I am ready to leave this place. While it has been a mostly safe environment, ghosts are walking the hallway and it is time to bid them adieu. I find myself finding myself again: something lost has been found. It is with great exuberance I embrace the change that is before me.