The Stalking Narcissist

I was renewing my subscription to this blog, when I noticed an incredible surge in activity.

Curious, I went to my Admin Panel and was stunned to see a pattern reminiscent of how a stalker might behave.

Then I checked the origin of where the stalker-or stalkers-location was. And then I knew: My blog had become fodder for a lunatic NARCISSIST, BULLY, and EMOTIONAL VAMPIRE.

I could give a care as to how my recovery blog has likely been regurgitated to innocent friends and family, who have been swindled for years by this manipulative, and insecure bully.

Nor do I put any stock whatsoever in the interpretations of an individual, who I am certain is a borderline sociopath, and in need of immediate Psychiatric Treatment.

As well, I could care less how my blog is “received” by individuals who prefer to gossip behind closed doors about my “past”, as my most dedicated readers know.

Not convinced I have this (or these) stalkers dead to rights?

Read on my devoted readers, as I elucidate the nasty traits of an individual who clearly suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

See if this sounds like someone you know. If it does, I wouldn’t hesitate to force them, and the ones they continue to con, to accept that the only person with the problem is SHE (or him, or they).

A narcissistic personality disorder causes problems in many areas of life, such as relationships, work, school or financial affairs.

People with narcissistic personality disorder may be generally unhappy and disappointed when they’re not given the special favors or admiration they believe they deserve. They may find their relationships unfulfilling, and others may not enjoy being around them.

Treatment for narcissistic personality disorder centers around talk therapy (psychotherapy).

Symptoms

Signs and symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder and the severity of symptoms vary. People with the disorder can:

  • Have an exaggerated sense of self-importance
  • Have a sense of entitlement and require constant, excessive admiration
  • Expect to be recognized as superior even without achievements that warrant it
  • Exaggerate achievements and talents
  • Be preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate
  • Believe they are superior and can only associate with equally special people
  • Monopolize conversations and belittle or look down on people they perceive as inferior
  • Expect special favors and unquestioning compliance with their expectations
  • Take advantage of others to get what they want
  • Have an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others
  • Be envious of others and believe others envy them
  • Behave in an arrogant or haughty manner, coming across as conceited, boastful and pretentious
  • Insist on having the best of everything — for instance, the best car or office

At the same time, people with narcissistic personality disorder have trouble handling anything they perceive as criticism, and they can:

  • Become impatient or angry when they don’t receive special treatment
  • Have significant interpersonal problems and easily feel slighted
  • React with rage or contempt and try to belittle the other person to make themselves appear superior
  • Have difficulty regulating emotions and behavior
  • Experience major problems dealing with stress and adapting to change
  • Feel depressed and moody because they fall short of perfection
  • Have secret feelings of insecurity, shame, vulnerability and humiliation

When to see a doctor

People with narcissistic personality disorder may not want to think that anything could be wrong, so they may be unlikely to seek treatment.

If they do seek treatment, it’s more likely to be for symptoms of depression, drug or alcohol use, or another mental health problem. But perceived insults to self-esteem may make it difficult to accept and follow through with treatment.

If you recognize aspects of your personality that are common to narcissistic personality disorder or you’re feeling overwhelmed by sadness, consider reaching out to a trusted doctor or mental health provider.

Getting the right treatment can help make your life more rewarding and enjoyable.

Get treatment!

You’ve got serious issues.

Your opinions mean nothing.

You are shallow.

You are a nasty person.

You are a stalker.

You are a liar.

You are spiritually bankrupt.

You are seriously ill.

You are a drama queen.

You need help.

You are vain.

You are hurtful.

You are a fake.

Until you get help:

You will not matter to me.

You will not matter period.

You will remain irrelevant.

You will remain despicable.

.

Butterflies Drift

Butterflies drift
before a man
before
the
dawning night.

Clouds retreating
beyond the veil
beyond
a
setting sun.

Ruminate long
within this space
within
this
sober sight.

NAMASTE

6/10/19 1 Year Wedding Anniversary🌙🌑⚡🌟

(this post is from 3/2017) When I wrote Men and Women Can Be Friends?  WTF, I never imagined in a million years that we would fall in love.  That’s right, Bec and I have fallen in love and since that post on March 30th we are now at the point that she is coming to visit me at the end of August!  Who could have imagined that a just sober homeless man, and a completely isolated adventure woman, could find love via their blogs?  Who could have imagined love could bloom and flourish between two lost souls 3,623 miles apart?

And what an amazing journey it has been with this woman.  Talk about the best friend I ever had.  Talk about the purest soul I ever knew.  Talk about the sexiest body, eyes, smile I’ve ever seen.  From the early days of flirting with her on her Wilderness Life Blog in early December, through the days of following her incredible journey of self-discovery on Faces of Life, and straight into video talks every single evening, we have developed an incredibly deep and profound relationship.

She has been the only person who has ever seen me behind all of my portrayals.  She stood by me while I stripped away the layers and facades and finally showed her who I really was.  She stood by me and showed me how to be a friend.  She supported me through my recovery and never flinched when she learned every dark and dirty truth about me and my life.  She has never judged me.  She has never moved an inch from my side.  All she did was give me the room to finally be who I was supposed to be all along.  If you’ve never had yourself beaten, molested, isolated, tormented from yourself, then very little of what I am saying is going to make much sense to you.

At the same time I’d like to believe I helped her to come out of herself and see just how beautiful she really is.  I think I have been there for her during some difficult times and decisions.  She has been able to lean on me.  I am proud that ours is a relationship built on pure and genuine honesty and trust.  I know everything about her and she knows everything about me.  And I do mean everything.

We have shared over 136,000 texts, 275 hours on the phone, nearly 100 emails, 80 hours of video.  We have taken every relationship quiz known to the internet.  We have shared deeply passionate and loving experiences.  Oh, and we even played two games of Trouble, she one.  Games using just phones for reference are NOT as fun as they describe online.  All you have is words when you are 3,623 miles apart.  And believe me, you find out EVERYTHING about your partner and yourself in a hurry!

That all being said, she wrote a poem of love and longing the other day.  I have never posted one poem about her online.  I decided that the poetry I write for her is going to remain deeply personal and intimate.  Should she decide I should post something for her, only then will I do that.  However, I did give her an answer to her poem that was asking for many different forms of love and support.  I told her I would most definately share the poems; they might help someone else know the depths of love and support that two people who wish to be there for one another forever will go.

Bitch

So mangy
is this dog
that nips at my heels
matted fur
moist
with a
bitter stench.

Its eyes
half guilty
half wanting
always needing
a morsel
of kind remembrance
staunch in its
pursuit.

Go away
bitch
turn that
ragged ass
around
and slink back
into
your cold
and lonely
and jealous
domain.

There is
no treat for you
here
I always loved
cats best
at least
you know when
your life
breaks free
they could
give a shit.

You can
find them on
the windowsill
on a warm
and
sunny day
funny that
is where I am
we are and
you are not.

Found Within The Rhyme

What seems so very simple
is not so what it seems;
To complicate the matter
our lives are full of dreams.

Enthralling tours of wonder
cause feelings strong to grow;
Illusions cast long shadows
on paths which lead to woe.

The world is truly lovely
so longs the heart at night;
Within the dream is shining
though distant is the light.

Hot passions tend to smolder
for those who hold them dear;
Longing will always linger
so hearts do slowly tear.

Murals seen imbued within
in love so strong the zeal;
Such scenes painted so deeply
dread time will seek to steal.

Desire’s fruit sweet ripens
love’s nectar to be found;
But dead to earth it’s falling
and makes no thoughtful sound.

To taste the fruit of Eros
resolve with joy it flies;
Cold doubt blunts the purpose
with winter’s breath it dies.

When two lovers are loving
then souls they can be free;
Stormy minds tend to becloud
sure paths one once could see.

Love songs play a melody
sublime heard in a dream;
Though softly sure it whispers
foreign can seem its theme.

A trance of love is beauty
and stunning in its hue;
Always an angst in moments
when taken out of view.

Places for peaceful knowing
keep true the soul at peace;
Paths fade in somber travels
so lost souls tend to cease.

So the quest for loves reward
pursued throughout all time;
No matter words not knowing
’tis found within the rhyme.